As I Get Better
by ZevofB3K
Summary: Final Installment for the Worthless? Storyline. How reliable is Vlad's premonition anyway? The crew of the Lexx already has enough problems!
1. DisLyekka Pt 1

Author's Note: Final Installment of Worthless? Storyline. Don't own the characters; Salter Street and the Beansdo.Expect it to be longer than either "Worthless?" or "Sleep Tight", since there's so much crap going on. This picks up exactly where "Sleep Tight" left off. Vlad has just made the revelation to Kai that their master will return soon, and remember that pesky damaged cell that just so happened to bring Kai back? Well, he's about to take repercussion for it.

Instead of continuing into the passageway, Kai stood frozen in place, as his hand suddenly grabbed the wall for support. Vlad cocked her head to the side. "That is all you have to say?" she said shrilly. "His time will not be much time? How can you make such an assumption when He has killed you before?"

The dizzy spell had only lasted a second or two, but it left Kai utterly confused. Pain was one thing he knew that he had to get used to, but illness was another thing entirely. Perhaps it was just another side effect from the box's contents, and his body was fighting it off. The problem was that he had never been ill even before he died the first time; the Brunnen-G had found a way to keep all viruses out. He didn't have the first clue as to what the common cold felt like, let alone the feeling as if he'd been stabbed several times; and once had been bad enough at the time. "You falter, assassin," said Vlad. "Why?"

"It is not your concern, Vlad," said Kai.

Without looking back at her, he walked down the passageway, trying to shake off the odd feeling.

Xev sat on the bridge, filling her nails uncomfortably, sighing every now and then, and then stopping, putting her nail file away, pace the bridge, and then resume after a few minutes. Stan watched this from his post, and knew why she was so upset. "Xev," said Stan. "I know you're thinking it, so I might as well just bring it up. Kai's not Kai anymore,"

Xev snapped out of her little world, glaring at Stan. "What? Of course Kai's still Kai! He's just...vulnerable right now,"

"Uh-huh," said Stan, hopping off the console, and putting his hands on his hips. "Yeah, he wakes up in the middle of the night, screaming from these nightmares, that I'm pretty sure would make Prince, Mantrid, _and_ His Shadow assume the fetal position; and if he's not torturing space junk for practice, he's spending his time trying to translate the rest of an inscription on a box that almost killed us. I dunno what he's trying to accomplish, since it's empty, but I guess it's better than having him walk around the ship for nothing in particular, except to be there when you come around the corner, just in time to give you heart failure. Add all that up with the plain craziness that's been going on since he got blown up, and I'm starting to have doubts that I want Kai around anymore,"

"Just what are you suggesting, huh?" Xev asked, getting in Stan's face, her cluster lizard side becoming more and more present. "That we just leave him somewhere to rot?"

"Yeah, if the shoe fits!" said Stan. "You forget Xev, I saw what was in his head. It's not a nice place,"

Xev crossed her arms, and glared daggers in Stan's direction. "How can you say that?!" she said venomously. "Kai's killed so many people against his will in his afterlife the shock could never hit him until now! He's damaged goods to begin with, and we don't know what they did to him in that place they brought him back in!"

"Yeah, so what?" said Stan. "I hate to tell ya this, but he doesn't talk very much anymore, and that's not saying a lot, but let's get one thing straight: He's not about to tell us what's wrong with him. He's not gonna just tell us what those lab people did to him. The dead do not say more than they need to, remember?"

He came around closer to her and put his hands on her shoulders, even though she looked as if she was ready to eat several of his organs. "Xev, listen. He might get dangerous. I don't want him to-"

"Hurt us?" said Xev. "Kai would never do something like that to us,"

"I'm not saying we should do anything yet," said Stan. "I'm just saying we might, and if we do, I can't have ya trying to protect him!"

"It's better to have him insane than to not have him at all," Xev said shakily, making a quick pace for the passageway, leaving Stan feeling guilty on the bridge.

He sat down on the command pedestal, burying his head in his hands. "Well," he mumbled. "That went 't have been better,"

"STAN," the Little Lexx bellowed.

Even though it wasn't even close to being fully grown, the new Lexx's voice was identical to the old one's, and it had matured voice-wise in about three weeks. "Yeah, Lexx, what do you need?" Stan asked.

"THERE IS A PLANET FULL OF BREATHING THINGS, STAN. IT LOOKS TASTY. CAN I EAT IT?" said Lexx, his viewscreen reflecting a little bluish-white planet.

"No, Lexx! Not yet! Maybe, later, okay?" said Stan, heading for the passageway.

This was it. Xev had been so restless lately, this was perfect. Sure, there were probably insects by the billion and people who wanted to cut them up into little tiny bits for whatever reason, but any planet was better than no planet, right? Stan figured it would be good for Kai as well; considering that if getting rid of him was out of the question, it was better to let him go out once in a while and kill something; that way he wouldn't start losing it in the near future, if he hadn't already.

"The planet does not seem to have life on it," Kai said distantly, staring blankly out the moth.

"Well, the Lexx said things were breathing on it," Xev sighed, steering the moth through the atmosphere.

This was getting ludicrous. Okay, so she'd gone along with the fact that he wasn't ready to engage in long conversations with people, let alone try and carry on a relationship with her, but the not talking at all was getting to her! Xev had learned enough to know that conversation between them would be a bit awkward for several reasons, but to go so long without saying anything to each other unless Stan was around was even making Kai uncomfortable, hence his inept attempts at trying to make her less uncomfortable, which inevitably led to more discomfort between the two of them!

"Stanley seemed more animated than usual when mentioning the planet. It was inconsistent behavior," said Kai.

"He stayed on the Lexx, so that means one thing: He wanted to get rid of us," said Xev.

"Perhaps, yet he is not alone," said Kai.

"Don't worry about it," Xev said gently. "Vlad won't kill Stan; she just wants to have it out with you, so she'll probably ignore him like every other human woman. He'll probably just watch the viewscreen, get hungry, eat until he passes out, and we'll find him asleep in the galley,"

"An astute observation," Kai said stiffly, cringing slightly.

Another dizzy spell decided to hit Kai again, but it was worse this time, as it lasted longer than it had before, and his head lolled onto the eye hatch of the moth. He bit down on his tongue, as the feeling that tiny sharp objects were being driven into his nerves returned. "Kai?" Xev asked, touching his shoulder. "What's wrong?"

The influence wore off, and he righted himself in the seat. "Nothing," he said quietly. "I believe that I may have injured myself while practicing in the cryochamber, but it is not serious,"

The moth touched down in the middle of an icy nowhere. Xev hopped out as Kai focused his eyes properly. Part of him was starting to think that he was about to get disoriented again, because outside the moth, things certainly weren't right. One thing was that it was dark, and since there was no moon, it was what Stan would probably refer to as "advanced darkness". There were trees and grass, but it wasn't what either of them was used to seeing, since it was encased under sheets of snow and ice. There was a city not far off from where they'd landed, but like everything else, it was dark. He climbed out of the moth, and saw that Xev was hugging herself while pulling her thin jacket closed (an article of clothing that she'd worn since her run-in with violation according to Stan), shivering slightly, even though there was no snow on the ground. Her breath came out of her mouth as a fine mist, and she looked slightly annoyed. "It's so cold," she griped.

"I believe that is because there is no moon, and if there is a sun, it is far off, though it is probably nighttime," said Kai, staving off shivers. "The only reason that the atmosphere is breathable is because a sun must be near enough to make this ice condense and evaporate. It may not last very long, however. The state of this planet seems to be deteriorating,"

"Why didn't Stan warn-" Xev began, but as she started walking, she nearly slipped on the grass, and it crunched as she caught herself. "Us,"

"This terrain is dangerous at best," said Kai. "Are you sure you wish to continue this exploration?"

"Well," said Xev. "What do you think?"

"Though I am alive, I still do not have an opinion. I will do as you wish," said Kai.

"Does this climate bother you, though?" she asked.

"I am still mostly an assassin. Temperatures mean little to me," said Kai.

She rubbed her arms fervently to try and warm up, and then saw that though he was trying to overcome it, he was cold, too.. "Liar," she thought.

Technically, she was about to break one of the unspoken rules between them, but in this instance her love-slave desire was concurrent with her cluster-lizard side's hatred for low temperatures She forced her way under his arm and took a firm hold on his waist by wrapping her arms around it, so he had to put his arm around her shoulders. "Come on, then," she said. "We'll be warmer this way if we walk together, and I know I won't slip if we walk together,"

"Why?" said Kai, going along with her, her ploy very obvious to him.

"Do you ever fall down of your own accord?" Xev asked flatly.

"No," said Kai, really hoping that one of those weird spells wouldn't hit him now.

"My point exactly," she replied simply.

"Xev, Kai!" Stan shouted over the squawker channel. "What's it like down there, huh?!"

The screen jumped and Xev's voice came over the speaker. "It's too soon to tell yet, but it's cold, very cold!" she said in aggravation. "Why didn't you tell us, Stan?"

"Hey, I didn't know!" said Stan. "Lexx said something was breathing down there, I thought you guys loved this kinda stuff, I didn't know what it'd be like!"

"Hang on," said Xev. "Kai wants to speak with you,"

Stan raised his eyebrows at that. It had to be pretty bad in order for Kai to want anything. "Stanley," said Kai. "Temperatures such as this one can cause illness that I am unsure we are immune to, if they do not kill us. Should Xev and I become ill, it is your responsibility,"

"Wait a minute, did you just threaten me?!" said Stan, sensing the firmness in Kai's voice.

"The dead do not threaten unless provoked, Stanley," Kai said flatly.

"Well, I'll tell ya somethin' pal!" said Stan. "While you were gone, I went to planets a lot worse than that one down there, so if you guys hate it so much, why don't you come back up here?!"

"Goodbye, Stan" Xev's voice chimed in.

The signal went dead. Stan growled in provocation, aggravated by Kai and Xev's unnecessary shortness with him. "Well, I'm sooo sorry I tried to make something interesting for you guys!" he yelled at the blank screen.

They always did that to him; they found a planet Xev insisted on exploring, and Kai went with her to protect her. He'd check in on them for information, and they'd spit in his face! Kai especially annoyed him at the moment; wasn't the then dead guy the one who had first suggested finding a new home? Well?! Who knew how many bad ones were out there! "Your need to lie is evident. You only visit planets if there is promise of pleasing your reproductive organ,"

Vlad had appeared on the bridge. Her eyes were slightly bloodshot, and she was short of breath. Stan could feel her trembling slightly as she yanked him effortlessly off the command pedestal by the front of his jumpsuit and onto the moth deck. If he wasn't mistaken, she seemed almost afraid of something if it wasn't for her usual "I will kill you," expression. "I wish to examine the planet for myself," she said slowly.

By that time, Kai and Xev had already entered the city. The place was desolate, and empty; probably abandoned for years, judging by the amount of snow pilling up over the doors of the buildings. Snow was one thing they didn't need; because if it happened to do so, they would be dead one way or another. Either it could freeze them before they made it to the moth, or a ceiling could cave in on them. "What's that over there?" Xev asked, pointing to an outside stairwell.

"It leads underground," said Kai. "Do you wish to follow it?"

Xev gave him a where-have-you-been-for-the-past-four-thousand-years sort of look, and nodded. "Of course," she said.

The stairs were covered in ice just like everything else, so Xev let go of him and rolled down, letting her cluster-lizard side take over for a moment, and smiled at him expectantly from the landing. Kai simply jumped down after her, and landed unscathed at her side. Since his unexpected return, it had become apparent to him that she was doing her best to show him that she could take care of herself now, and even though it was a mystery to him as to why, he didn't mind in taking part in her little contests of who-could-do-what better. For now, it was just something to keep his mind off what he'd been pulled away from.

She reached into her jacket, and pulled out a small flashlight, and shined it on the ground. "Okay, we can walk easier down here since there's hardly any ice," she said, examining the tunnel they were now in the middle of. "Left or right?"

"I believe we should begin wherever the cluster lizard part of you wants to go," said Kai.

Xev sighed, since Kai had avoided acting human yet again. "Okay, then we'll go right," she said, turning sharply down the corridor.

"Why?" he asked.

"You actually want to know?" she said.

"I am not entirely a Divine Assassin anymore," said Kai.

"My gut instinct said to head left," said Xev. "Since wherever I usually want to go leads to trouble, then I'll go with the opposite answer,"

The end of the tunnel lead to several more interlocking stairwells. Xev leaned over the side and shined the light down, to see that it didn't hit a bottom. "This is familiar," said Kai. "The last time we encountered an environment similar to this one, Stanley was nearly killed by a cyborg...among other things,"

"Well, I'm glad Stan isn't here, then," said Xev.

She shined her light on the nearest flight of stairs, smiled at him, and gave him no choice but to follow her.

"I can't believe I'm doing this, I can't believe I'm doing this, I CAN'T believe I'm doing this!" Stan whined, as Vlad calmly landed the moth next to Kai and Xev's moth.

Vlad didn't answer as she hopped out of the moth, her long black and red skirt swirling as the cold winds on the planet blew. Stan stepped out and immediately fell flat on his back from the ice. As he lay there in pain and freezing, Vlad stood over him, staring at him blankly like a cat. She seemed unaffected by the cold, and looked as if she was sniffing the air as she looked toward the dark sky for a moment. "You coordination is less to be desired," she said flatly, as she walked gracefully on the ice, even in her high-heeled boots.

She watched, smirking as he struggled to right himself, unsure of how to place his weight, so every time he tried to stand, he'd fall again. Finally, he just looked at the executioner and rolled his eyes. "I'm glad you find this so amusing," he said flatly. "Now will ya help me up?!"

She battled with herself in her mind, and then her smirk disappeared, transforming into disgust. She bent down, and in one movement, grabbed him by the collar of his jumpsuit, and yanked him to his feet. Her strength was scary, even scarier than Xev's cluster lizard strength. Stan knew no matter how much he hated her, he would have to watch himself. In that situation, Vlad was right. The only person fit to fight her was Kai, since he was the only one insane enough to take a punch from her. Stan had enough experience with Xev, and she hit hard enough. "Thank-you," he sighed, trying to warm himself up.

"You are not welcome," said Vlad. "Come, the worthless assassin and his reptile whore have wandered in this direction,"

Meanwhile, Xev and Kai had made it to the bottom of the stairwell, and in front of them was am icy blue room, not unlike the cryochamber onboard the Lexx, except that there were glass alcoves in the walls. It was colder in the room than it was outside, and for good reason. Inside the alcoves were people encased in blocks of ice! They were young, probably in their late teens to early twenties. "Kai, what is this?" Xev asked.

"It seems to be some sort of storage area. A mortuary perhaps," said Kai, stepping up to the nearest alcove.

A young woman was inside. She may have been very pretty at some time, but now she was ghost-white, and her face was a bit swollen. Her blonde hair floated out around her, as the ice around her had been water at one time. Kai put his hand on the frosty glass, and felt around a while. "Though the glass is very thick, I can still determine her state of being," he said, wiping the excess frost off so Xev could get a better look.

"And?" said Xev.

"She is dead," said Kai. "As is everyone else down here,"

"It's too bad," Xev said quietly, shining the light on an alcove that contained a young man. "They were young,"

"These compartments are most likely controlled by the console behind us," said Kai, turning away from the woman. "If you desire to know what happened, it is best we look there,"

"Good idea," said Xev, handing him the flashlight.

Xev keyed in a random combinations on the number pad, and then sighed. The machine had to have been there for at least a few decades, since the decals on the buttons were peeling, and it was covered in a thin ice. "I can't start it up," she said.

"Allow me," said Kai.

Kai went around to the back of the machine, and found a metal plate hanging off the back. He knelt and ripped the plate off, and disconnected a few wires here and there, and then re-connected different wires. It gave a spark, and it started humming and lighting up. As he stood, Xev looked at him with a mixed expression of satisfaction and disappointment about how she couldn't have figured it out. Xev knew she was a love slave, but she'd tried so hard to learn what was necessary for planet exploration with Kai missing. In that field, Kai undoubtedly had her beat and she knew it; it may have turned her on, but if she couldn't act like a love slave around him, acting like a cluster lizard was her only other option. In fact, it may have been a last-ditch effort to try and win him over, since love slave actions seemed to confuse him instead of arouse him. Xev knew that Kai studied Vlad closely because she was so dangerously unpredictable, but just, Xev was starting to think that the more aggressive Vlad was more his type, and the cluster lizard in her was infuriated by that, which in turn, was pushing her to act this way around him.

Stan followed Vlad down the dark tunnel. He couldn't see her very well, so he had to go by sound; and of course Vlad hardly made a sound when she walked since she was a hunter. He could just barely make out her silhouette against the poor light, her beloved knife in her left hand, as she kept her right hand on the wall. "Are you sure we're goin' the right way?" Stan asked. "I think we should have found something by now!"

"Silence," said Vlad. "It gets warmer as we move closer to the end, yes?"

"Yeah, so?" said Stan.

"So, I gather that your crewmembers would move in a direction where the temperature is less frigid in a vain attempt to stay alive. That is why we move left instead of right," said Vlad.

"Well, yeah okay that makes sense I'll admit, but I can't even see in this darkness, and I doubt you can either! I mean, why is this necessary to you, I thought you didn't care about Xev and Kai!" said Stan.

"I do not care for anything but the hunt, as I have told you on one other occasion," said Vlad. "I carry out this mission because it is necessary to my reason for existing,"

'And what's that supposed to mean, huh?" said Stan.

"We have spent time here, and as time is only time, time can also tell," said Vlad. "I see no reason in explaining things further. Now cease your belligerence. You will permit room for error,"

"My belligerence?!" said Stan. "If I'm so belligerent, then why did ya even bring me along, huh?!"

Vlad stopped moving at that. "I am...uncertain of my actions," she said.

A sly grin spread over Stan's face. Okay, so she was probably out of her mind, and bloodthirsty, but still, Xev didn't want him. Vlad _was_ an attractive woman; murderous, belittling and sarcastic, but still attractive. Besides, she'd been stuck in a cryopod for thousands of years, right? She had been dead then, but now, she was alive, and no doubt looking for a little fun. "I see," he said. "Nobody can resist Stan the Man,"

He found himself being pinned to the wall by her knife, which she'd thrown at him yet again. It was sticking out of his jumpsuit, pinning the sleeve to the wall. Either he'd been really lucky, or her aim was perfect; she hadn't even nicked his skin. He couldn't quite see her face as he whimpered and gaped at her, but he was sure her mouth was stretched thin, and her eyes slit to the point where they didn't even look open anymore. "Wow...you uh...really got good with that," Stan squeaked.

"Kai," Xev whined. "Nothing's happening,"

"I am aware of that," said Kai.

Xev was sitting in the swiveling chair in front of the console. "Well, I don't get it," she said. "You got it working,"

"Perhaps there is not enough power to keep it going," said Kai. "I will try again if you ask me to, however I believe that we should not waste more time if you still wish to explore the rest of the planet,"

"You're right," said Xev, standing up. "What's over there?"

Xev walked up to one of the alcoves, and stared distantly into it. "Xev?" Kai asked. "There is nothing there. Only a shell,"

"She moved," Xev said quietly.

Everyone had been calling him crazy lately, but now Kai was beginning to wonder if he was rubbing off on everyone else, because even he could see the oddity in Xev's behavior. Then, the eyes of the girl behind the glass opened, and tendrils suddenly broke out of the box, spraying both of them with the shards. Xev screamed, and then her scream turned into a cluster lizard growl as one of the tendrils grabbed her leg. Kicking it off her, another made a grab for her arm,

Kai shot a few of them with his brace, severing them from their source in the girl's abdomen, but where he could detach five, ten would reappear. He was about to try and shoot the host itself, but suddenly the room gave a tremendous lurch, and his eyes went out of focus. The feeling that pins were being driven into his nerves returned, and for some reason, the whole room seemed to be rolling like a ball on its side, and everything just faded.

"We are at the end," said Vlad. "It is warm, and the light is poor...yet there is nothing here but botanical overgrowth. How dissapointing,"

Stan looked around, and wiped the sweat from his forehead, and avoided stepping in any of the foul looking plant matter. For such a cold place, Stan was wishing that they had eggs, because he was sure that one could be fried on the floor at this temperature. Of course, that would mean having a bit of parsley with it, since everything was covered in this snot-like moss substance. Vlad didn't seem to care that it was all over the hem of her skirt, but Stan was staving off the need to gag. "Yeah, this is really, really hot. Like Fire kinda hot,"

"Cease your-"

"Uh-oh," said Stan, looking up slowly. "Oh no..oh boy, are we in for it. Vlad, we gotta leave now,"

"You interrupt me. Tell me why, and I will ease your passing," Vlad griped, her fist tightening on her weapon.

"Vlad, just be real quiet and move real slow, okay? Let's head back the other way and look for Xev and Kai," said Stan, grabbing her arm. "It's not safe here,'

Vlad wrenched out of his grip, looked up, and saw several bulbous, spiky objects hanging from the ceiling. One of the contracted slightly, and spat out several tendrils. "What is this?" she asked quietly, her recognition of the situation evident.

Though part of him was relieved that she was at least sane enough to know that even she couldn't take on all of what was in those pods."It doesn't matter, we gotta..." he began.

A liquid mass dropped out of the pod that had moved, and slowly took shape. "Hello, Stanley!" said a bright voice. "Who is she? She looks yummy,"

The pile of liquid had turned into a blonde woman with her hair in tiny knobs all over head, and dressed in a fuzzy green mini-dress. "L-Lyekka," he stammered.


	2. DisLyekka Pt 2

"Who is she?" Lyekka repeated, sniffing in Vlad's direction. "I like her,"

Stan immediately pushed Vlad behind him, since he knew that this new Lyekka wasn't _his_ Lyekka. "Don't act like that around me, I know what you are!" he said.

"I'm a plant," said Lyekka. "Don't you remember?"

"Yeah, I remember!" said Stan, backing toward the exit. "Lyekka's dead, and even though you're the same kinda species as her, you're not her. You're just pretending to be her, so you can eat us. Well, I'm not gonna stand for it. Me and Vlad are leaving here, right now,"

"Please don't," Lyekka said sweetly, blocking the entrance. "I like you both,"

"I do not like either of you," Vlad said defiantly. "If you do not remove yourself from our exit...I will kill you,"

Lyekka's arm stretched out like a rubber band and grabbed Vlad by the neck, flinging her into a pile of the green substance on the floor. "No, you won't," she said simply.

As Vlad sat up, shaking muck off her, breathing heavilly as if she were a bull with a red cape dangling in front of her. Her eyes reflected nothing but pure hatred, as two more pods opened near her. Lyekka smiled at him. "I don't like her anymore, Stanley," she said.

Okay, now if this situation couldn't get any worse, it certainly did at that moment, because his only means of protection was bested. Lyekka leaned close to him, making him fall backward in fear on what seemed like a very slimy root embedded in the floor. She climbed on top of him, saying, "Don't worry, Stanley. This will be very pleasant for you,"

Kai woke up on top of a pile of broken glass and dead tentacles. The floor was cold, so he was inevitably just as cold as the floor. His head was throbbing hard enough for him to hear his blood in his ears, but he couldn't tell if it was from his fall, or if it was from whatever was making his body malfunction. He sat up, and immediately coughed blood out onto the floor. Whatever this was, it seemed to just keep piling on insult to injury, since it wasn't enough that every part of his body hated him at the moment.

He had landed on a small piece of glass, which was now somewhat embedded in his side. As he gingerly pulled it out, looked around to see that the room was seemingly empty. "Xev?" he asked hoarsely.

No answer. He tried again, but still nothing. He blinked a few times until his eyes focused. The alcoves that had contained the tentacle creatures were empty; person, ice, creature, and all. Xev was nowhere to be found, except her flashlight was on the floor close to him. In an unexplainable weird sort of way, he was strangely comforted by the fact that not _that_ much had changed while he was gone. At least he wasn't as worthless as most people kept telling him.

He got up, looked around, and saw that the pod that contained Xev's attacker, was open, and it was large enough for a person to fit through.

Although, the pod wasn't a pod at all. It was more like a holding cell for something, and there was a hole in the back wall. "Hello,"

Kai turned around to be face-to-face with a smiling woman, with her hair in braids around her face, and a fuzzy pink outfit; which inevitably reminded him strongly of Bunny. He raised his brace in defense, since this was undoubtedly another life-threatning situation. "Are you who I think you are?" he asked.

"I am Lyekka," she said, circling around him, licking her chops. "You are Kai. You were dead, and I didn't like you last time I saw you,"

"I destroyed the asteroid containing you and your sisters. How is it that you can exist here?" he asked.

"I'm a different Lyekka. A sister Lyekka," she said. "I like you now..although...you smell...sick. But that's okay. I can't get sick, and I'm hungry,"

Kai turned to face her, because now she was trying to set him up as her fix for the day. "Perhaps I am unwell, though that is not my concern at the moment. Where is Xev?"

"Who is Xev?" Lyekka asked.

Of course, he thought. This was a different Lyekka creature, so that meant that she most likely hadn't seen Xev. He knew he could at least count on her telling the truth, since this species rarely lied, and since he'd been doing a bit of lying of his own lately, he could tell the difference. "Xev is a beautiful love slave dressed in a cluster lizard skin. Perhaps one of your sisters can help me find her,"

Kai lowered his brace, and headed toward the broken glass alcove where Xev had been attacked. He wasn't much in the mood to deal with a hungry plant, so he figured it best to leave her to her own devices. This Lyekka on the other hand, didn't seem to like being ignored, as she planted herself firmly in front of him, much too close for his liking (if he actually knew what a liking felt like). "You don't understand," she said, trailing a pink fingernail over his shoulder. "I'm very hungry. And I want to eat you,"

"And what if I stop you?" said Kai.

"How?" said Lyekka, still treating him as if he was a freshly cooked meal.

"Kill you perhaps?" he said flatly, as his brace slid up into his hand.

Lyekka licked the side of his face lightly, like a kitten lapping at milk. Many things were beyond his understanding, and the fact that both Vlad and Lyekka had found it necessary to slurp him was one of them. In death, it hadn't meant very much, but now he could recognize the disturbing oddity of it all. "I'm not so easy to kill," said Lyekka.

They'd had this exact conversation before (minus the slurping the last time), and she could have fooled him, because it hadn't really been that hard to get rid of her on Earth. Kai simply raised his brace to her head, and a second later the plant dropped to the ground, and turned to dead leaves. He casually stepped over them, and resumed searching for Xev.

Vlad woke up in a black void of nothingness. Normally, she wouldn't have thought anything of this, except that she had been insulted by that plant's insolence moments before, and she felt that not being able to resolve the conflict was not what was. She was a hunter, and the only way to resolve such a conflict was to draw the blood of that pathetic mortal being.

She stood, straigtened her skirt, and began walking. No direction in particular, since there was nothing all around her, but the fool of a captain was missing, so that meant he was with the Lyekka plant. That didn't sit well with Vlad; Stanley was a fool, yet taking something without asking irked the executioner, even if the plant seemed to once have belonged to him. Then again, she hoped that the fool was with the Lyekka plant. That way, she could hunt the fool's plant, kill it, and then resume her initial hunt for Kai and his whore. She knew that she was on the frigid rock planet for a reason, and the situation had not bored her yet; however, it was starting to, and the cycles of time had told her to carry out the mission quickly, so she wouldn't get jaded.

"Don't you want me to make you happy?" a voice behind Vlad asked.

Lyekka was standing behind her, staring at her questioningly. This time her hair was combed loose of their absurd knobs, and the color of her idiotic mammal-like garment was white. "I am a destroyer," said Vlad. "I live to destroy things like yourself,"

"But how is it that you do not dream?" Lyekka asked sniffing around Vlad like a dog. "Everyone has dreams...and I can...make those dreams come true,"

"I do dream," said Vlad, losing her patience with such a stupid creature. "I dream of the destruction of those who annoy me. You are one of those who do. I cannot allow you to substitute a fantasy for that,"

"That's too bad," Lyekka said thoughtfully. "I will have to eat you anyway, and it won't be so pleasant,"

"Where is Stanley?" Vlad said systematically, thinking it better to use the fool's real name, to make sure the plant understood.

The plant kept advancing toward her, and such boldness was something Vlad was inexperience with, since most cowered in fear before her. "I like you," said Lyekka.

"Where is Stanley?" Vlad asked forcefully.

"If I can't make you happy...then I'll just have to eat you now,"

Lyekka leaned forward as if to taste Vlad, but the executioner grabbed the absurd plant by the shoulder, holding her at a distance. Taking one last repulsed look at the repelling life that nature could produce, Vlad drove her knife into the temple of her prey. "I kill you in the name of His Divine Shadow," she said.

The blackness around her faded back into the jungle-like environment that she had remembered herself being in. There were two floating pod-like creatures squirming to hold her down, which she quickly dispatched with a few movements of her blade. Though this Lyekka beast could take any form it pleased, its true form was laughable through the Divine Executioner's eyes. The Stanley fool was nowhere to be found, and neither was his air-headed plant.

She stood up as a few more of the Lyekka pods began to open, and calmly walked out of the chamber, before the Lyekka creatures could take their shape. The Stanley fool was not squealing, so she either figured him missing or dead, whatever the case she didn't care, but he was not her main concern. Should she find him during her search for Kai and his whore, perhaps she would spare him from whatever harm if she felt like it, but it didn't really matter. The cycles of time had shown her nothing of him, just of the other two worthless mortals, and if she was familiar enough with them, Kai had already lost his whore, and was somewhere in this concrete and steel tunnel, searching for her.

Xev woke up to the noise of things squelching toward her. Her cluster lizard instinct shook her out of her coma, and she found herself squashing a small creature of some sort. She turned over her hand, and saw that it looked like a plant pod with minute tentacles on its southern end. In a sudden fit of aversion, she shook it off her hand, wiping its slime on the floor, of which she was lying.

Looking around, she saw that this place was not only unwelcoming with its dim lighting and drippy growths, but even with its seemingly endless dimensions, it still felt eerilly like a tomb. She saw that the same slimy vine-like substance that covered the walls and floor was wrapped around her body. She ripped it off effortlessly in extreme distaste, and stood up.

Kai wasn't anywhere close by, and she had no clue as to where he might be. She hadn't seen it very clearly but she had seen him fall shortly after those tentacle things attacked him, and not get back up. She was just hoping that he was still breathing, since he seemed so against being called alive.

She almost jumped out of her skin, as something seemed to scream out her name. She rushed over on the other hand, to see that it was Stanley wrapped up in a coccoon of those slimy vines up against the wall.. "Oh, Stan," she said sympathetically, pulling the extremely disliked fungus off him. "Are you okay?"

"Oh good," he sighed, peeling the last of his restraints off. "Listen, Lyekka's family lives here, and they're hungry, we gotta leave. Now,"

"Stan, move!" said Xev.

Another pod-creature was hovering around their ankles. Stan screamed and stumbled backward, while Xev screeched and stomped hard on it with her boot. "You killed it,"

A Lyekka dropped down from the ceiling, this time wearing an icy blue fuzz dress. "Why?" she asked.

"Because it's evil," said Xev.

"It was just a seed," Lyekka said sadly. "You're very mean people. I would eat you myself...but I won't,"

"What do you want with us, then?" said Xev, backing a whimpering Stanley away from Lyekka. "I thought you were always hungry,"

"I am," said Lyekka. "We all are...but there aren't enough of us,"

"Not enough?" Stan asked. "Whaddya mean not enough?! There's hundreds of you in that room me and Vlad were in, thousands even!"

"No," said Lyekka. "There aren't enough of us. All the people here were so yummy, and now they are all gone. Even though we can't eat you...you will help us,"

Kai looked above him, and fired his brace into a sleeping Lyekka pod. He stepped back a little as the pod's various fluids spattered him lightly, and the Lyekka dropped down, this time in a yellow dress. Before she had a chance to eye him as her next meal (or slurp him), he unceremoniously shot her, and stepped over the dead leaves. "Kai?"

He spun around to see Xev staring expectantly back at him. "Hello, Xev," he said.

He wasn't at all prepared for Xev to suddenly push him up against the slimy wall and press her mouth against his. She pulled away almost as quickly as she'd kissed him, and smiled. "This is what you want, right?" she asked, kissing him again, this time a little longer. "You don't have to lie to me,"

"How would you know?" he asked, pulling away.

"You dream about it all the time," said Xev. "You have a lot of bad dreams...but not all of them are bad. This should be pleasant for you,"

Everything about this was all wrong. Xev was a love slave, sure, and she was prone to doing these things to other men, but never to him. She'd always remembered herself around him. The problem was, until her words grabbed him by the throat and shook him, he (or at least his body) had been ready to accept her as the real Xev. Kai looked at her closely for a second, and then fired his brace into her belly. "You are not Xev," he said.

The plant staggered backwards as her form melted back into a Lyekka wearing dark purple this time. "Don't you want me to make you happy?" she asked.

"The dead do not have wants," said Kai, this time making sure to shoot her in the head.

As the dead leaves scattered across the floor, a cold voice said, "That angered you greatly, did it not, assassin?"

Vlad stepped out of the shadows, covered in Lyekka slime just as he was. Her knife glistened in the poor light, covered in various plant fluids. "Go on," she said. "Admit it. It angered you to see that Lyekka beast take the form of your whore...and it angered you even further that the plant beast was only speaking the truth about your dreams. There is nothing you can hide from me, assassin...it has happened before, and it is happening now,"

He turned around and continued on, even though something in his brain was nagging him to shoot her right through the sternum. There was no doubt in his mind that this was truly Vlad; Lyekka aside, even Prince couldn't put on an as convincing performance as the real Vlad could. "Why do you not answer me, assassin?" she asked somewhat coyly, following after him.

He casually turned around, shot an opening Lyekka pod along with its contents behind her, and continued walking. "Xev was dragged in this direction. I gather that since you are here...Stanley is here also," he said simply.

"You see," said Lyekka. "My sisters and I need to eat...but we also need to make more of us. Those seedlings need food. There were lots of yummy people for them to eat here, but now they're all gone. You're all we have,"

"You're not puttin' one of those things in me!" said Stan. "No way, no how!"

"Too late," said Lyekka.

"Whaddya mean too late?!?!" said Stan.

"Those seedlings that you killed," said Lyekka, looking sadly at the place where the squashed one lay. "There were only two...but I have lots and lots of sisters. That's why I like you, Stanley. I knew you'd carry one,"

"But I don't wanna carry one!" Stan whined.

"And what about me?" Xev asked.

"Yes," said Lyekka. "You are different from Stanley. But I still like you...you can carry more than one,"

Lyekka's arms suddenly liquefied and turned to viny tentacles. They dropped off several pods, and the very sight of it made Xev's cluster lizard side strangely hungry, while her human side was wanting to turn and throw up. She stood in front of Stan, and moved backwards, since he wouldn't move unless there was something urging him to. "Stan, run," she said.

"Run where?!" said Stan.

"Who cares?!" said Xev. "Go!"

She grabbed his arm, and yanked him in the opposite direction from Lyekka. She could run faster, except that it was nearly impossible to do so without Stan falling down. Even as they ran for their lives, she couldn't understand how the one person who was into self-preservation couldn't run like a coward! She then took a sharp turn, and pushed Stan through a hole in the wall.

It must have once been a corridor, since in was indeed a hallway covered in Lyekka pods and various types of plant growth and muck. She pushed Stan down another turn, and then Stan stopped, putting his hands on his knees. "Stop Xev," he panted. "I'm not part cluster lizard, I gotta rest,"

"If we stop, we'll be dead," said Xev.

"Look, if we keep going like this, I'm not sure I'm gonna make it back up to the surface," Stan griped. "Besides she put one of those things in me!"

"I know," said Xev.

"Where's Kai?" Stan asked.

Before she could provide the answer to that question, the walls started crawling with larger Lyekka spores, that now were about the size of small dogs. "Let's go!" said Xev.

She went to turn a corner, but slammed head-on into Kai. He caught her in one arm, and unceremoniously shot them, until the ground was littered with dead leaves. She looked over his shoulder to see Vlad smiling smugly as he killed the spawn. Xev couldn't tell if it was out of spite because she had been with Kai the whole time, or if it was just because she was enjoying the rather violent turn of events. He then looked directly at her, aiming his brace. "Are you Xev?" he asked.

She grabbed his face and gave him a quick kiss. "Stan's in trouble," she said. "Lyekka put some weird spore into him,"

He released her, and then looked Stan over. "Where is Lyekka?" he asked.

"I don't like you anymore,"

Looking beyond Stan, Lyekka's absurd furry outfit had turned black, and her face looked anything but sweet and angellic. "Why not?" Kai asked.

"You're killing us," she said.

Kai pushed Stan out of the way, and turned to Vlad. "Take them back to the moth," he said.

"I will do no such thing," said Vlad, looking up. "I wish to see her kill you. And then I will kill her,"

"You killed a lot of us...we need to replace them,"

Kai fired his brace at the ill-tempered Lyekka, but instead of connecting, it simply splashed through her liquid form, and she returned to being solid. "I'm not like my sisters," she said. "I'm a big sister Lyekka,"

Her arm stretched out and a few seconds later, Kai found himself slamming into a wall behind Xev, Stan, and Vlad. He rolled to the side as Lyekka's rubbery fist nearly crushed his head, and called out to Vlad, "I believe you should rethink returning Xev and Stan to the Lexx!"

Vlad glared at him defiantly, but then Stan grabbed her arm. "You heard him!" he said. "Let's go!"

She took once last angry look at her enemy, and then was nearly dragged by the arms down a passageway with Xev and Stan. Kai caught Lyekka on the end of his brace and retracted the cord, as to duck and slam her into the wall behind him, except that she liquefied herself again, and slid off the tip of it.

He'd forgotten that even though Lyekka creatures were little more than something for the common addict to smoke, they were freakishly strong, and trying to think of a way to kill her was becoming quite difficult when he actually needed his windpipe to breathe. She was crushing it at the moment, and she was smiling at him. "I don't care anymore," she said. "I'm too hungry,"

Kai could feel her tapping into his mind, so she could start devouring him, except instead of being plucked from reality and into some meaningless dream, there was a brief flash, and the passage around them gave one of those spontaneous lurches. Lyekka gasped as she dropped him, and recoiled in what he supposed was fear; he couldn't quite tell, since he was willing himself to stay concious. Since the illusion of a spinning room marred his vision, he could see beyond the confused, suddenly deathly pale Lyekka, that everything was turning from a disgusting green color to an equally disgusting brown. "You're killing us," she said. "How?"

One shot from his brace, and the head of his adversary dropped to the ground before turning to dead leaves. He stood up, blinked a few times as the dizziness wore off, and looked around. There were numerous dead Lyekka pods hanging above his head, along with all of the nesting vegetation that had been plastered to the walls and floor. As he checked himself over for additional wounds, he couldn't help wondering why everything had suddenly died the second she had tried to consume him.

Back on the bridge, Kai and Xev made for the cryochamber, eager to remove any saplings Lyekka may have planted in them. Since everything that was a part of the "big sister" had died the second she came into contact with Kai, he had few qualms with the seedlings, but just the same it didn't belong in their bodies, so better out than in. Stan had been worried, but had since calmed when Vlad had threatened to make a trophy of his tongue if he didn't stop whining.

Now the Divine Executioner was looking around the bridge, as if she were searching for something. Stan stopped in mid-stride, and looked at her. She had dragged him down to that planet with her for a reason, but she was still being secretive about what that reason was. Lyekka seedling or no, he was still curious.

"So...Vlad," he asked. "Did you...find what you were looking for?"

Vlad's head jerked in his direction and stared at him with those eerie dead-but-not-dead eyes. "No," she said firmly. "I was wrong,"

"Whaddya mean you were wrong? I thought you were the Time Prophet, and a Time Prophet can't ever be wrong, it just doesn't work like that!" said Stan, irked over almost getting killed for no reason.

"Time is still time," Vlad repeated. "Time will tell soon enough,"

"Time?" Stan asked. "Well, it better be a short amount of time, or Captain Stan's gonna-"

An "OUCH!" from the Lexx, and a knife in the command pedastal that dangerously buzzed past his head pretty much signaled for him to stop trying to interrogate her, unless he didn't want her to miss the next time she threw that knife.

"Stupid Lyekka," Stan grumbled, as he leaned back in a cryopod while the protein regenerator cleansed him and Xev of the seedlings. "Stupid Vlad, and her stupid premonitions,"

Vlad had dissappeared again, and now Kai was running the regenerator, even though he looked a bit off-color. For some reason, the former assassin had been the only one aside from Vlad who hadn't been inhabited by one of the seedlings. Xev waved it off as just being lucky, but Stan wasn't so sure. "You mean that she had another one?" said Kai, looking up from the protein regenerator.

"Another one? Whaddya mean another one?" said Stan. "She's only had the one, and she's not tellin' us anything about it, so c'mon, what is it?"

"Shortly after you freed us from the effects of Prince's dream box, Vlad came into the cryopod and attempted to engage in combat. After I neutralized her, she revealed to me that the cycles of time have started again," said Kai.

The machine stopped whirring around and Xev plucked the suction cup off her arm. "Of course," she said. "Time moves in a circle, so what?"

"Time does move in a circle, but it was not supposed to happen this fast," said Kai. "Though I cannot determine whether or not she is lying, she has revealed to me that my resurrection and hers have sped up the time cycle, thus creating a paradox in it, and since we are here, it means that everything is about to happen once again,"

"It makes sense," Xev said quietly, pacing around. "The insects, the Time Prophet...you; everything,"

"Whaddya mean everything?!" said Stan, hopping off the cryopod. "Sure things have been a bit more chaotic than usual, but that's no reason for something big to come up!"

"On the contrary," said Kai. "Vlad and I are not supposed to be alive, as we were both killed at our respective times. I am the Last of the Brunnen-G and she is the Time Prophet. The arrival of His Divine Shadow, in whatever form he may take, _will_ trigger another Insect War,"

"But Vlad just told me that she was wrong in her last premonition, that's gotta count for something, right?" said Stan. "She could have just messed up!"

"Though it is probable, it is certain that Vlad saw something. She would consider witholding such information boring, as she enjoys to watch people suffer," said Kai. "She looks forward to what is about to come,"

Xev sighed, and nodded. She knew it was a bit strange that Kai should just pop up out of nowhere, and Vlad with her shiny new ability to see into the cycles of time was more than just unexpected. Plus, the dead did not lie. The best thing to do was to just accept it. It wouldn't be normal for them to continue living without something evil pursuing them at every second.

"How much time do we have until it happens?" Xev asked.

A burning feeling shot up his right arm, and settled in the middle of his back. It was almost identical to the pain he received when he became disoriented, but at least this time he wasn't going to wake up on the floor. "I am...uncertain," said Kai, calmly turning his back, and rolling up his sleeve.

The skin around his brace was bruised a deep purple, and normally he wouldn't have been concerned, since being alive meant having to endure all sorts of injuries, but the only wound he'd sustained from that planet was the wound in his side from the glass. He slowly pressed a finger into one of the contutions, and found that it stung, not just in one place, but all through his nerves. "Hey, are you all right?" Xev asked.

Kai quickly pulled his sleeve back down, and faced them. "Why would I not be?" he said calmly.


	3. Generation Lexx Pt 1

**Author's Note**: For those of you who have been skipping around (I know who you are !), thus far, while Stan and Vlad are getting along in some weird sort of way, Kai's not only starting to have human thoughts, but he's been getting dizzy and passing out more than your drunk uncle at a Christmas party, except for one thing: He's not drunk, and he hasn't the slightest clue as to why; plus he's keeping it from Xev and Stan, is Xev gonna kill him (again, might I add) if she finds out!

Nothing was precisely what was going on inside or outside the Lexx. Absolutely nothing, as in not even a squelching sound from the hull, and Kai found that he preferred it that way after this morning's sudden insanity. Stan and Xev were in the galley, cleaning up the spew from a broken nozzle. Somehow, the end of it had been sliced up the center, and of course only one name was on the list of suspects; Vlad. Things always got sliced to pieces when she was around, and luckily for them she'd been quietly minding her own business for the last few days up until now, even though signs of her presence were everywhere.

It wasn't that he hadn't helped them clean up the mess, in fact they had less to clean up because the nozzle had explosively spewed on him the minute he walked through the door. Even though Stan had been the first person in, followed by Xev, Kai had walked in, hearing the weird gurgling noise that Stan had been complaining about, saw the piles of congealed food on the floor, table, stools, and walls, and about 2.3 seconds later the front of his shirt went from being black to green.

After being covered in worse things than Lexx food (blood; both his own and other peoples', insect slime, and Lyekka remains all in a matter of days), it wasn't such a big deal. He just preferred to eat food rather than wear it, so he got to fix the shower instead, which had also been conveniently sliced up the center, courtesy of his knife-happy, so-called destroyer. Instead of a light trickle within the actual shower, a deluge met him in the passageway. Even someone as indifferent as Kai didn't want to know what the shower or the nozzle did (Xev seemed a bit disappointed with the fate of both appendages, while Stanley's priorities switched to protecting the one part of his body he favored the most), or tried to do to Vlad in order to merit such a fate. As far as he knew, that particular passageway was still flooded, and would be for quite some time, even though he had indeed sopped up a great deal of the water (he preferred to think of it as water, anyway), just by being in the right place at the wrong time.

He lay on the bridge, staring blankly up at the impossibly high ceiling, mentally willing his clothing and hair to dry out, checking on the screen at certain intervals to make sure nothing came up. He'd since given up on Prince's dream box, and it sat in the cryochamber, taking up what little space there was. Boredom was something he'd noticed early on since becoming alive again, though admitting to it was hard just like everything else. He supposed he shouldn't be bored since the room wasn't spinning, he didn't feel any internal pain, and he was on the floor voluntarily for the moment. He found that in death he couldn't appreciate that fact, but then again, he didn't need to hide mysterious bruises from anyone because he had none back then. Dead thoughts he understood; human thoughts were another thing entirely. He vaguely understood he was protecting Stan and Xev by not telling them, simply because of what might or what might not be ahead. The HDS factor that loomed over their heads was always in the back of everyone's mind, so really, his problem was minor.

He sat up abruptly when the screen started buzzing. A signal was being sent, and sure enough the Lexx had already zoomed in on a ship coming toward them. He lazily peeled himself off the floor, and made for the galley, before the Lexx decided to have a snack.

Xev walked up ahead of Kai and Stan, even though it was almost too dark to see in the ship's corridors. The narrow catwalks creaked under their weight, which had Stan gripping both sides of the rails unsteadily. Kai didn't care very much, since he was more amused by watching Xev tinker with anything they happened to pass. Sometimes she'd tap a chain that was hanging from overhead, or just kneel down to inspect an object that was simply lying on the path in front of her. He didn't understand the feeling it gave him, and most of the time he was oblivious to the fact that he was staring at her. Stanley on the other hand noticed it right away, and smirked, even though he was terrified of heights. "Getting ideas, dead man" he asked, making sure Xev still had her back turned.

"The dead rarely get ideas" said Kai.

"There's something weird about this ship" said Xev, shining her flashlight about the ceiling, and the floors below them. "There are toys all over the place"

"Toys, whaddya mean toys" said Stan.

Xev turned around, and rolled her eyes at Stan, as she held up a small rag doll. "Not the kind of toys you'd be interested in, Stan" she said sharply.

"Perhaps we should check the bridge" said Kai.

"Good luck findin' it" said Stan, looking down cautiously. "I dunno about you two, but I'm starting to wonder how long these walkways are gonna hold our weight"

"They seem perfectly functional" said Kai.

"It's up there" Xev said simply, shining her flashlight to the floor above them.

"What, what's up there" said Stan.

"The bridge" said Xev.

"Well how do ya figure that" said Stan.

"We climbed up twelve floors exactly and found nothing, so that door up there's gotta be the bridge" she said. "Coming"

Kai wordlessly followed her, as he did in pretty much every situation, while Stan shook his head and sighed. He couldn't understand her cluster lizard logic; what did she do, just pull ideas out of the air that sounded good!

Kai shot the lock off the door with his brace, and the automatic mechanism made the heavy metal panel slide with ease. Xev went through first, but was taken by surprise when she was accosted by several flying rubber balls. "Hey" she said.

"Get 'em, guys" said a child's voice. "That's what they get for barging in here"

Xev screeched as loud as she could, and snarled, which effectively stopped the barrage. The "crew" of the ship all ran and hid, either under some of the control consoles, or behind chairs. The room was a mess. There were opened packages of food, and the wrappers were all over the place, and toys were scattered all over the floor and console tops, plus there was a holoscreen blasting out some kind of inane children's program. "Please don't hurt us" said a little girl. "We're sorry, we really are! We promise, we won't"

"Hey, it's okay" said Xev, holding up her hands in defense. "I'm sorry if we scared you. My name is Xev"

A girl of about nine popped up from behind one of the machine, and stared hard at Xev. "Ugh, don't _even_ go all motherly with us, we know what you guys are" she said.

Kai stepped forward, making the girl back toward the wall. "And what would that be" he asked.

A boy came out from under one of the consoles, and threw a small orb at Stan, which exploded a jade-colored paint all over the front of his uniform. "Hey" said Stan. "What was that all about, you little skid mark"

"We ain't never had grown-ups and we don't wanna start now, okay! Just go away" he said.

"Look" said Xev, kneeling to the child's level. "We came in here because our ship, the Lexx, picked up your distress signal"

"Distress signal" the first little girl asked. "We didn't send out any signal"

Kai turned to one of the consoles and brushed off the garbage to find a blinking red light. "I believe that this is the mechanism that sends and receives signals from other vessels" he said.

"Hey" said a boy, that looked identical to the first. "We've been using that as a stool"

"For what" Stan asked.

"Candy" said the girl with the pink bow. "What else? I'm Stormy by the way. The twins over there are Len and Spaz, the other guy's name is Quet, and this is my little sister Gilly"

"And you've all just been...living here by yourselves" Xev asked skeptically.

"Yeah" said Len. "Got a problem with that"

Hours later (hours considering that's how long it took to finally convince the group of children that they weren't going to take them anywhere they didn't want to go), Stan had managed to shuttle the kids back to the Lexx with promise of a big bug tour, while Kai and Xev decided to spend the night aboard the mysterious ship in hopes to find information as to why these children were seemingly orphaned. Stan didn't seem too pleased about having to babysit five kids, after the last two scenarios in which five young people came to the Lexx, but he begrudgingly agreed, since he was the only one Vlad halfway listened to (even the formerly dead did not think it was a good idea for her to be alone with anyone, let alone kids that age).

Since Stan's departure, they'd managed to clear away the garbage, except for the cake-like substance jammed into the buttons of the mechanism that controlled the ship; so it was obvious they had been drifting. Xev had gone through their inventory, which contained a decent amount of food and water, but was mostly just toys. Kai had to search for the ship's log, which was a screen inevitably obscured by what seemed to be one of Len's larger paint bombs. The walls were also covering in paint spatters, and rude drawings of men and women. For such young children, they seemed to be ahead of themselves.

Xev finished pulling the last of the rubbish into a bag she'd brought over from the Lexx, and came to see what Kai was up to. "Who taught them to make messes like this, even I was taught to clean up after myself" she griped.

"Or who didn't teach them" said Kai.

He was sitting in the chair next to the controls, which he'd draped a second bag over, since it seemed to be covered in foreign substances. "What are you doing" Xev asked, leaning over his shoulder.

"I am checking the ship's log to find that there is no sign of any, except images of the crew engaging in...recreation" said Kai, scrolling through the different recorded files. "I have repaired the holoscreen"

"Why was it broken" Xev asked.

"This" said Kai, holding up a slightly charred yo-yo. "Their motive for shoving it in the mechanism is unknown"

Xev had to smile. "Didn't you do things like that when you were that age" she asked. "You know, just to see what would happen"

"No" said Kai, continuing to scan through video recordings of the kids rampaging all over the bridge.

"Then I guess...neither of us had much of a childhood, then" she said sweetly, moving to cover his free hand with her own.

Since he didn't pull away on the Lyekka planet, then she supposed it was okay to do this, but he quickly pulled away. "I would not remember" he said quickly. "Six-thousand years is a long time"

It wasn't that he was trying to avoid her at all costs, it was just that those stinging bruises were spreading beyond just his right side, and if she were to touch him, his body would react, and then she'd know. He knew he couldn't let that happen, or at least not yet. He supposed that the wounds would spread to a point where he couldn't hide it any more, but he at least had a bit of time before that happened. The problem was that the sad look on Xev's face roused another emotion that he couldn't recognize. He was starting to think that emotions were all the same thing; and if they weren't, the memo got lost somewhere.

His attention immediately turned to the second holoscreen, as Xev's elbox accidentaly moved over a glowing template. Images of a small blue planet popped up, and a string of information, complete with coordinates. "I believe that this is what we are looking for" he said.

"And" Xev asked.

"As I am seeing these images, I am recalling memories of a planet simillar to this one. It is a planet entirely composed of children, and the oldest inhabitants do not age over twenty years. It is...supossedly a happy place, however, with out experiences in the Dark Zone, I do not carry the belief that it is so"

Xev pulled her squaker off her belt. "I'm calling Stan" she said.

Meanwhile, the moth flew unsteadilly back to the Lexx, as the kids fidgeted incessantly inside it. Not only did Stan have to put up with the inhuman loudness of a five-year old's normal voice, but he had to cram all of the kids into one moth, or Kai and Xev would have been stranded on the empty vessel. "Hey, do ya mind getting your foot outta my ear! Please" he snapped, cutting off the incessant prattling.

The little boy known as Quet stopped harrasssing one of the twins with what seemed to be a miniature electric prod, and looked at Stan. One second and a kick in the ear later, Stan found himself ready to simply open the hatch and throw the child out, pressure suit or no. Sure it would kill him, but it would take the other protein sacks with him! But no...Xev would most likely hunt him down after reincarnation and beat him senseless if Prince didn't get to him first. "You little" he began.

"Meatbag" Quet yelled back.

The other kids all laughed, and then chimed in with "Meatbag, meatbag, meatbag"

Len then took this as his chance to pelt Stan on the side of the head with another paint bomb. As he reached back to grab the little beast in anger, Stormy screamed"Look out"

Stan swerved the moth, just as he nearly crashed into the side of the airlock, rather than enter it. "You almost got us killed, meatbag" said Stormy, slapping him on the back of the head. "Captain, my ass"

"Vlad, you better be far away from the bridge" Stan grumbled under his breath, knowing that if she wasn't already insane, she would be after this venture.

"Who's Vlad" Gilly asked.

"Our impending doom" Stan said through clenched teeth, as another paint bomb spattered on the back of his head.

"Really" Spaz asked. "Cool"

"Cool" Stan mimicked in irritation, as the speaker in the moth crackled with Xev's voice.

"You there, Stan" she asked.

"Shhh, quiet before I give you all to Vlad" Stan griped, and the kids all fell silent.

With a satisfied grin, he turned back to the screen on his moth. "Yeah, Xev, I'm here. Whaddya need"

"We're still looking around, but Kai's found information on our guests, plus he says he has memories about it. We'll be back in an hour, so sit tight"

"You know, for someone who isn't captain" he began.

"And Stan" said Xev.

"Yeah" he asked.

"Don't scare them. They're just little kids" she said, and the speaker clicked off.

Len climbed up into the front of the moth, and punched Stan squarely in the shoulder. "Punch buggy" he said.

"Owww, you little turd" said Stan. "That really hurt"

"Punch biiiiiiiiiiiiiiig buggy" said Gilly, burstingi into a fit of giggles.

"Don't hurt them" Stan mimicked again. "Okay...she didn't say anything about Vlad"


	4. Generation Lexx Pt 2

Upon returning to the Lexx the next morning, Kai and Xev were greeted by a very ill-tempered Stan, who was tied and gagged to the command pedestal. He was covered in paint, as the kids were quite content with shouting as loud as they could, while chasing each other around the most dangerous room on the Lexx that didn't contain Vlad. They paid no mind to the fact that they could fall off the bridge, and were simply having fun with throwing things off it. Kai undid the binding on Stan, and stepped off the pedestal. "Please, please, please, _please _tell me that you found where they're from, and that they're going home now. Sooner than now!" said Stan.

"Their planet is one called Evelle. In my memories, it is a planet that is not far from where we are now. There is little atmosphere, but it has been inhabited by people longer than I have existed. I suggest that we find it, and return these...guests home,"

After explaining the situation, he immediately had to step to the side, as Len tried to fire a magenta colored paint bomb at him. Kai looked at the child, who responded with a defiant "nyah-nyah", and stuck his tongue out. Len probably would have tried again, had Gilly not run up and kicked him in the rear end, causing her to be the twin's next target.

"So until we get to their planet," said Xev, playing with her fingers nervously. "All we have to do is...watch them ?"

"It would appear so," said Kai, as Len threw another paint bomb at his brother. "There were no adults aboard their vessel,"

"Ugh, this is just great!" said Stan. "A whole ship full of midgets, and the adult's missing!"

"There are no adults on Evelle," said Kai. "To have an adult, there would have to be an inhabitant of the planet over twenty years, which does not happen. Their aging process is different from the one you and Xev are accustomed to,"

"That would explain the savage behavior," said Stan, rolling his eyes.

"What's the matter Stan?" Xev asked, sweetly smiling at the kids tearing all over the bridge. "I don't mind them. Do you, Kai?"

Stormy came up and kicked Stan as hard as she could in the shin. "As I am not aware of likes or dislikes," said Kai, ducking a flying toy of some kind. "I do not feel anything for them,"

"Well, yeah, that aside, we gotta do something about them!" said Stan. "I mean, we can't have a bunch of kids running all over the ship, it's too risky!"

"Stan," Xev said sweetly. "It's much safer for them to be here than out there where the Lexx can eat them. The only thing that we have to worry about here is Vlad, and we haven't seen her for days, so what's a few hours more?"

"They had me tied up and were throwing paint at me!" said Stan. "A few hours more, and then all three of us are gonna be at their mercy!"

"They're just kids!" said Xev.

"Out of the question!" said Stan. "Either they go back to their shuttle so the Lexx can tow them to their planet, or I start looking for Vlad! And believe me, Xev, these aren't the little kids you think they are. If Vlad shows up, she has my full permission to-"

"Kai!" said Xev.

Stan sighed. Whenever she didn't get her way, she always played the card of "the assassin **_always_** responds to my orders, so you better change your tune before he gives the bridge a new coat of you."

"I do not have an opinion on the situation, however if you ask me to, I will kill Stan," said Kai.

"Kai!" said Stan, backing away slowly. "You're human now, you can't kill people on command anymore. You wouldn't kill me...right? I mean, you gotta have some kinda feelings by now!"

Unbeknownst to Stan, the attention of the kids had been caught, and they were huddled in a group, watching the scene between their supposed rescuers. "My body is human now, that is true," said Kai. "Though my mind is still very much programmed as an assassin's. Your first inclination would be to cancel out Xev's plea with an order for me not to kill you; however, as I have told you on other occasions, your desire to have Vlad kill innocents tips the scales,"

As Kai primed his brace, Xev smiled triumphantly at Stan from behind her overly obedient assassin. Stan growled, and hissed in Xev's face, "You really, really need to rethink your priorities,"

An angry Stan sulked off in the direction of the galley, but he couldn't make it there without a hearty kick in the rear from Quet and Stormy. Xev followed after Stan in an attempt to comfort him, while Spaz looked at Kai quizzically. "Yes?" Kai asked.

"Is she your girlfriend?" the boy asked.

"The dead do not have romantic relationships with the living," said Kai. "Most of the time,"

"Then she isn't?" said Spaz.

"No, she is not," said Kai.

"Then how can ya be so whipped if you aren't even sleeping with 'er!" said Spaz, making his brother and Quet burst into uncontrollable laughter.

Kai tilted his head slightly in thought. "The dead do not get whipped," he said, following after his shipmates.

He stepped up onto the path that led into the passageway, but since his guard was down (how many times a day did he cross that passageway,), his foot managed to find a green puddle of some kind, and he found himself falling backwards, and landing hard, flat on his back. The children all burst into eardrum piercing fits of giggles, as he stiffly sat up, with his tailbone and head screaming at him. "We'd have warned ya that Gilly spilled her electrolyte supplement there, but it was too priceless to pass up," said Stormy, taking a cautious step toward the sore assassin.

Kai peeled himself off the ground with much difficulty, as his back wasn't exactly cooperating. He knew he'd made a mistake, but the fall shouldn't have injured him so. It wasn't that far, and he'd taken worse hits than that during this short new life. "Are any of you aware of what an assassin is?" he asked.

"Not really," said Len. "Should we care?"

"An assassin...is a man who intentionally kills people," said Kai, gingerly standing up.

"So what!" said Spaz, his expression mirroring his brother's. "Make your point already!"

"I _am_ an assassin," said Kai, limping off in the direction of the protein regenerator.

The Lexx came upon a grubby looking orange planet later in the day. It was useless to try and contact the inhabitants, if there even were any, since no one had answered back. Stan seemed to think they were cursed with these heathens, while Kai was thinking more along the lines of either insects or Lyekkas. The heathens, on the other hand had spent the day with Xev. Something about her attitude was different with the kids around, and she seemed to really enjoy having them around. Their attitude with her was different from their attitude with either Stan or Kai, as well. Kai didn't think much of it, but then again, he was the one who had to keep them from killing each other while she took a nap. He had endured a lot over six thousand plus years, but he had never been prodded, questioned, or ridiculed so much in half-an-hour as he had been throughout his whole existence. So far, he'd received questions such as "Why is there a weasel on your head?" and "Does that thing on your arm hurt?" He'd answered them truthfully of course, but he was now beginning to realize that the truth wasn't sufficient enough for children so young.

He was trying to come up with something that would cease their questioning when Xev came onto the bridge in a pressure suit, and smiled as Stormy won a fight against both twins, who had tried to steal a candy bar from her. Kai was sitting on the command pedestal, and stood up upon sensing her presence. "I must urge you to be aware of your surroundings, Xev," he said. "I have been observing them all afternoon,"

"And?" said Xev.

"They are not the sort of kids you were most likely trained to raise," said Kai.

"I'll keep that in mind. By the way, there are only two pressure suits on board, and Stan's going with me. He said something about better being in danger than being tied up again. You're staying here," she said.

"Why?" he asked.

"Because someone needs to stay with the kids, and I think it would be good for you," said Xev.

"Why?" he said again.

"Well, you need experience with all kinds of humans to learn how to be human again. You're hardly in contact with anyone aside from me and Stan, so this is perfect for you. I promise, it should be easy. Just make sure they eat a decent meal, and stay out of trouble, okay?" she said. "If they get tired, they can always just sleep out here,"

"I will do as you ask," said Kai grabbing one of the twins (he couldn't tell them apart, and since death was still a part of him, he didn't care.), who was about to hit his brother with what looked like a piece of chain. "However, would it not be wise for me to protect you?"

"Kai, you were gone for three months, remember?" she said, smiling. "I think I can handle a planet full of kids,"

"The dead do not get ideas, but the dead baby-sit?" Stan asked coming onto the bridge. "Whatever, man, but hey, couldya do me a favor and keep Vlad from coming down to the planet if she decides to show herself? She's got a habit of doing that, and this seems like the last place she should be,"

"I will do as you instruct, Stanley," said Kai.

Xev rolled her eyes and pecked Kai on the cheek quickly. The kiss caught the attention of all the children, and they all responded with an "Ewwww!"

Xev had to laugh, while Stan echoed them sarcastically. "Don't wear yourself out, dead man," he said. "Be careful. Uh...don't fall asleep, okay? For more than one reason,"

"I understand," said Kai, as he wrestled the weapon out of the child's hand. He then proceeded to toss the chain off the bridge despite Len's protest, since he didn't know what else the child had in mind for it. This was bound to at least be interesting. Since regaining his memories from that Divine Predecessor, the only other child he's encountered was Norb. He supposed Norb was what a well-behaved child was supposed to be, but the problem was that he had no idea as to what a bad child was like. Now he was beginning to think that this was one of those things Stan mentioned that are better not knowing about.

He watched as Xev and Stan boarded the moth and flew out to the airlock, leaving him with five adolescents and Vlad, who was still MIA as far as he was concerned. Len, still angry about the loss of his chain, took a swing at Kai, who immediately grabbed his wrist. The dead did not get annoyed, that was very true, but how long would it take before the living did?

Xev piloted the moth through the Lexx, and out the airlock, smiling. The kids had a life so unlike her own at that age, and in that, they intrigued her. If she hadn't wanted to explore the planet so badly, it would be her staying instead of Kai, but then again, such a planet seemed to be the kind of place that would make Kai more uncomfortable than he already was with his new life. "So...you really think it was okay to leave him there?" Stan asked, putting his helmet on. "I dunno about you, but I'm still learning how to speak Divine Assassin. What makes you think the kids are gonna listen to him?"

"I trust Kai," said Xev, landing the moth. "He'll do just fine,"

On the planet, there was a city of perhaps billions of interlocking buildings all made out of scrap metal. There was an obvious designated structure for landing small vessels, so she landed the moth with as little noise as she could assemble, and put on her helmet. "Uh, Xev," said Stan. "What's with all the secrecy?"

"Do you see anyone around?" she asked, putting her own helmet on.

"Oh boy," said Stan. "I got a feeling this is gonna be bad,"

Upon exiting the moth, they looked at the sky to see it was a dull orange color, and the land around this odd structure they'd landed on was just as dull and orange as the sky. It felt as if they had gone completely colorblind, save for the color around them. Stan paced around a bit, and said finally, "Great," he said. "How do we get in, oh fearless brave, cluster lizard?"

Xev looked around, and then pointed to what looked like a doorway to a stairwell. "Come on," she said.

Xev marched straight up to the door, and keyed in a combination. Stan was a bit more cautious about it, since most doors led to psychopaths who wanted to cut off their heads if not some part of their body, or homo-cyborgs. "Hello!" Xev called into a speaker on the mechanism. "Anybody there?"

A child's voice, maybe a girl of about six, echoed back on the speaker. "Who are you!" she asked. "We don't want your help!"

"We're not here to help you," Xev said gently. "We're here to make sure everything's okay. You see-"

"Everything's humming, you ditz!" the girl snapped back. "Get outta here!"

"Look!" said Stan, stepping forward. "We just found a ship full of your buddies out in the middle of space, and we're just here ta make sure they're gonna be safe here!"

In Stan's mind, it was much better to yell at a bunch of kids, instead of having to eat breakfast with those monsters every day for the rest of their existence. Vlad was bad enough, since she was like a child in her own right. "...Was Stormy one of them?" the little girl asked.

"Yeah, yeah, I think so," said Stan. "Big pink bow, loudmouth?"

The speaker shut itself off, and the doors automatically slid open. "Nice going, captain," said Xev, smiling at him through her helmet.

As always, Xev casually stepped over the threshold, and into the building, whereas Stan followed cautiously after her. He'd given up any hope of finding any open minded women; even if he did, Vlad would know it and never let him forget about it simply because she was insane and probably considered him to be little more to her than a pet under her control. Besides, the last time he'd been promised a good time, he ended up losing the key...again.

She came to what seemed to be an elevator, and pressed the button. An orange, gel-like substance shot out, and wrapped itself around her, pulling her through an open void where the "elevator" doors used to be. "Xev!" Stan shouted in alarm, before the gel engulfed him as well.

"Stan!" Xev said impatiently, tapping him sharply on the back of his head. "You can stop screaming now!"

He opened his eyes, and then looked around. The gel was gone, and neither of them were covered it in. There were kids everywhere, making him more nervous than he was aboard the Lexx, except that they were now at the end of a narrow street. There were buildings everywhere, underneath a light orange sky, which didn't seem to make any sense at all since the planet seemed devoid of any atmosphere at all. Since it was in fact, a child's ideal planet, balloons dotted the skies in every color, and there seemed to be no end to the stores dedicated to selling junk food and/or toys, video games, and various things anyone from two to nineteen would enjoy. Stan felt as if he were going to be sick with all of this exaggerated cuteness, while Xev seemed quite curious, as her own childhood was so different.

An attractive male of twenty stepped forward wearing a blue robe, and shook Xev's hand. "Hey, I'm Melfus. I kinda run the place, and hear that Tyen up there let you in because you know a girl named Stormy. You are?"

"Xev," the love slave replied promptly, removing her helmet, and shaking out her hair. "Xev of B3K,"

"And you?" Melfus asked, turning his empty gaze on Stan.

"Stanley Tweedle, captain of the Lexx," he said, disentangling himself from the netting on his own helmet.

As they walked with this Melfus and his accomplices, Stan calmly let Xev do all the talking, since she was better at it as of late. He was trying to get used to getting the image of her wearing a cute, vacant smile, flirting endlessly with this boy out of his head, since she now kept a serious face on at all times when meeting new people. Three months had changed more than just the number of people on board the ship. "You see," said Xev. "We're here, because we picked up a distress signal from a drifting vessel containing a little girl named Stormy, along with her little sister, twin boys, and another little boy who's a bit older that the twins," said Xev. "They said they didn't want our help because we'd hurt them or something. Could you...explain to us why that is?"

Stan rolled his eyes, as Melfus snapped out of a trance-like state he'd been in since Xev started talking. Things had changed, but obviously not that much. "I'm sorry," said Melfus. "You must forgive my ignorance. You see Xev, why is it that you speak about these matters to me, when you are not the captain of your vessel?"

"Because she likes to," Stan said bitterly. "It's not like I command the people on my ship, too. They're not my slaves!"

"Hmm," Melfus said distantly. "I feel so sorry for you. Now then, would you care to explore the city a bit? I would stay with you a bit longer, but I'm afraid I have other matters to tend to. I will meet you at the hotel on the next block tonight. Until then, feel free to do as you wish,"

It had taken the better part of an hour, but Kai had finally managed to get all five of the drifter children seated in the galley after their incessant chanting of "Hungry," not too long after Xev and Stan's departure. He was programmed to take orders, and since Xev had left him with instructions to make sure they ate something, he had no choice but to attempt this somewhat dangerous mission. He was just relieved to know that the ship they had been stranded on had a food supply that wasn't Lexx paste. He was used to it by now, but he knew kids from the ages of four to nine would find it to be a better projectile than anything else.

He'd gathered what hadn't gone bad from their ship earlier, which was everything they hadn't opened; fruits and vegetables. He also didn't want to attempt eating a meal with them, since he'd already seen one of them pick their nose and stick their finger in their neighbor's ear. There was no telling as to what they'd do with a meal. Plus, he needed both hands for this maneuver. He'd now learned the names of the twins, only because Len, the dominant brother of the two, had been found in the cryochamber, trying to stuff his brother Spaz in one of the pods. Kai had also learned to treat freezer burn without the help of a working protein regenerator (courtesy of the twins yet again) all in a matter of fifteen minutes. "I hate this stuff," said Quet. "It's too purple,"

Kai said nothing, since he was too busy trying to keep Spaz and Gilly from stuffing the undesired food items up the Lexx's nozzle, which was still having sudden discharges at regular intervals onto the table (the best bandage they could find for it was what suspiciously looked like one of Stan's socks). "Um...Mr. Kai?" Stormy asked, pointing to little purple radish-like objects . "I can't eat this either...I'm allergic,"

"Did you eat any of it?" Kai asked warily, now knowing that getting information out of adolescents wasn't entirely impossible, but it barely crossed the line of impossible, especially with this little pink nightmare.

"...I don't think so," said Stormy.

Kai didn't understand what it was, since his emotions were so suppressed, but for some reason a tiny part of him wanted to throw something himself (quite a lot of that had been going on since Stan and Xev left for that planet). "Is there anything else that is unacceptable?" he asked calmly, addressing the kids as a group.

Sure enough, they all held up something or made a face, and screamed "Ewwwwww!" on top of that. "Then discard whatever it is that you will not eat to the middle of the table," said Kai. "And Stormy, it would be wise to tell me if you begin to feel odd,"

Stormy nodded sweetly, and then pelted Gilly from across the table with the undesired food item. Before Kai could respond, the squawker he'd attached to his belt clicked on, and Xev's voice came up on the other end. The kids took this as their chance to get up and start tearing all over the room again, this time using food and whatever else as ammunition. "Kai, come in!" she said.

"I am here," he replied. "Where are you?"

"You sound almost anxious," said Xev. "Are you okay? How are the kids?"

A piece of fruit splattered against the wall behind him. "The dead do not get anxious," said Kai, grabbing Len by the back of his shirt, while dodging another attempt to hit him with a flying object (he swore he could hear Spaz whisper "Damn it, he's too fast!"). "The kids are alive,"

The twin had been trying to run off again, so Kai put the squawker between his ear and his shoulder, and dragged the little monster over to the stool, sat him down, and primed his brace. The boy's eyes widened, and sat as still as he could. "Hey wait a sec!" said Quet. "Are you really dead?"

Kai dodged an oncoming piece of fruit from Gilly. "Up until recently," he said truthfully, while dodging a heavy toy of some kind.

"Well then how long have you been alive?" said Stormy,

"Perhaps a bit more than two weeks," said Kai, turning his attention to Gilly. "I request you stop that before I am forced to-"

"Are you still there?" Xev cut in.

"Yes," said Kai.

"Well it's going to take longer than we thought. Sit tight, okay?" said Xev.

"I will do that, Xev," said Kai, shutting off the squawker, as he finally silenced the mob by taking what seemed like a purple melon, throwing it into the air, and destroying it with his brace. Pulp and juice flew in all directions, plus the screeching sound elicited from the weapon instantly made them cease all action. Then, the room began to tilt, and Kai suddenly felt a distant thud as the universe went black, and pain ripped through his body once again.


	5. Generation Lexx Pt 3

Author's Note: Grr...instead of finishing up the Generation Lexx segmentin three chapters like I intended, seems like I gotta do it in four. Oops!

With Stan being the worrisome person he was, he went straight for the hotel they were instructed to wait at, while Xev aimlessly wandered the streets, simply admiring her surroundings. Since growing up in a box meant completely missing out on any kind of childhood at all, she was highly intrigued by the concept of nothing but children and adolescents living in prosperity, but it didn't fail to give her bad vibes either.

She scoffed and frowned, as a group of male teenagers hollered and whistled at her, and purposely bumped into her in an attempt to grope her behind. Perhaps in the old days she may have flirted back, but now the action only insulted her, and her cluster lizard side made that evident as she screeched loud enough to send the entire group barreling down the sidewalk at high speed. Manners seemed to be optional on this planet, since even the store owners treated her better than Vlad did, and that certainly wasn't saying much, since Xev didn't think she and Vlad could possibly hate each other more. No one seemed to want her around, and she knew Stan's luck couldn't be any better, since he didn't even like kids.

The streets were as crowded as they could possibly be with children, but for some reason, they didn't seem as happy as they had when they had first arrived. In fact, she noticed that they all seemed to be maintaining an act. The children running and playing with balloons kept giving her furtive glances, and the store workers all seemed to be less than jovial in both expression and body language. They were completely different from the children aboard the Lexx, and no matter how much chocolate these planet inhabitants could eat, even the highest sugar rush couldn't hide the dark moods here.

She saw a little boy sitting on a stoop, with his head in his lap, and his hands covering his head. There was a torn up ragdoll next to him, and he seemed to be injured, since his knees were scraped and his right elbow seemed to be bloody. She slowly knelt down and said, "What happened?"

He looked up at her, and examined her face, through his own teary eyes. She smiled sympathetically and waited patiently for him to decide whether or not he wanted to talk to her. "You're really big for a girl," he said. "Do you live here?"

Xev laughed softly. "No, I'm not from here," she said. "I'm Xev. Are you...all right?"

"Have you seen my sister?" he asked, wiping his nose on his arm.

She ignored the slightly disgusting gesture, since he seemed to be barely seven years old. It wasn't that she didn't like their new friends on Lexx, but this child seemed better behaved than they did. "What does she look like?" Xev asked.

"She's got blue hair and eyes, and her name is Fala," he said, standing up, and picking up the doll. "This is hers,"

Xev looked around, to see that there were plenty of kids who fit his sister's description. "I don't know...there are a lot of people with blue hair," she said sadly.

"Please help me find her," he said, his bottom lip starting to tremble.

Xev couldn't understand why in the world Stan hated kids. She felt sorry for this boy, that was true, but she couldn't help thinking that he was adorable, with his odd combination of bright red hair, and blue eyes, probably just like his sister's. "Sure," she said, holding out her hand. "What's your name?"

He sniffed, and took her hand. "Raq," he said.

"Well, Raq," she said. "Let's get started,"

She began walking with him, and soon realized that she'd have to slow her pace, since his legs were so small. "Xev?" he asked. "Can I really trust you?"

This boy's obvious fear of something worried her. "Of course you can," she said.

"Good," said Raq. " 'Cause my sister's really gonna like you,"

Before Xev could actually pull her hand away, the boy had suddenly slipped a small metallic object out of his pocket, and jammed its sharp end into her wrist. It sent a buzzing sensation up her nerves, and in a few seconds, she collapsed onto the ground.

A faint buzzing noise annoyed Xev so badly that it awoke her , and she opened her eyes to discover that she was strapped to a table. Of all things, why was it that nine times out of ten that when she was rendered unconscious and captured, she always woke up on some sort of table, and then something bad always preceded it?

Melfus was leaning over her, and he gently placed his hand to her forehead. "Don't try to struggle," he said. "I don't believe that you could actually break your bonds, but even so, trying to escape will make me have to hurt you...I don't wanna do that,"

She immediately jerked her head away from his hand. Even though the thought that Kai was nowhere near in order to help her crossed her mind, she wasn't the least bit afraid. She'd taken out lots of slimy people like Melfus on her own, without Kai in the last three months (with Kai being dead and all, it pretty much meant fight or die), and knew that the second she got free, Melfus was going to learn very quickly what a cluster lizard was. "Sorry that we had to bring you here like this, but Raq's always been into his petty little gadgets. He just wanted to try out his latest one," said Melfus, pacing about the room.

"So his whole story about his sister was a setup," said Xev. "I should've guessed,"

"Oh no," said Melfus. "He was telling the truth. He does have a sister, but she's not missing. She's right here,"

A young girl, about sixteen years of age, stepped into the light next to Melfus, and fit the boy's description of her. She was beautiful, but like Melfus and past enemies, beautiful things were almost always evil. "Hi," she said. "I'm Fala. I'll be reversing you,"

"The only thing you're going to be reversing is your head on your shoulders, after I twist it around," Xev snapped, still trying to break free.

In any other situation, she would have laughed, since she was trying to think of what Vlad might say in such a situation. Unlike her, Vlad had the ability to frighten off the bravest person with just her icy glare and her murderous comments (then again, the bloodied knife and the fresh blood spatter on her complexion and clothing seemed to help things along). Then again, who was up on the Lexx with Kai (Xev was still having doubts as to what sort of woman Kai might prefer if he were to actually drop the dead act), and who was yet again the damsel in distress? Xev didn't think it was possible for Vlad to ever even be a damsel in distress; this was just another slap in the face for her. Vlad was a warrior, and Xev that she wasn't. She'd tried so hard, but all poor Xev ever managed to do was cause trouble for herself and her friends. She was a love slave.

Fala and Melfus were laughing. "That's no way for a little girl to talk," said Fala, hooking Xev's temples into some sort of machine that Xev couldn't see. "Sugar and spice, remember?"

"No, I don't remember!" said Xev.

"Too bad," said Melfus. "You're gonna be tough to train,"

The love slave didn't have a chance to answer, as greenish electricity surged through her body. Through all the pain of it, only one thought was present in her mind, "Well, I guess this means I can hurt them when this is over,"

In the meantime, Stan sat outside the grubby little hotel, as several little Fire-spawn raced past him, doing their very best to kick him in the rear end or spill something on him, or just plain ridicule him for being older than the planet elders. "Stupid kids!" he shouted back.

Grumbling felt good. "Stupid kids, stupid Xev and her maternal instincts, stupid Kai and his being whipped, stupid pressure suit, stupid Vlad and her not being around when I actually want her to be!"

It was entirely true. His pressure suit was beginning to chafe every sensitive area on his body (and much to his dismay, all he could think of was how the shower and the nozzle must be feeling), and in all his boredom, he was actually beginning to feel that a rousing argument with Vlad about his incompetence would occupy him. Of course, thinking of Vlad inevitably made him think of the damaged shower, and knowing that if she knew he was thinking about her (which she probably did, since he had no clue as to how far away she could hear thoughts from), his fate might be even worse than that of the shower. He fidgeted in his discomfort, and stood up, pacing impatiently. "Where is she!" he asked himself. "Stupid cluster lizard!"

"Hey! Who's a stupid cluster lizard!"

A little girl had popped up next to him all of a sudden, and had screamed in his ear (after all the screaming in his ear lately, he swore he was going to be deaf on one side). After having regained himself, he looked closer at her, and had to keep himself from fainting, as the resemblance was unmistakable. Her long blonde hair slid off her shoulders as she put her hands on her hips, and tilted her head to look at him incredulously, and her tiny pressure suit mirrored his exactly. "Oh boy..." he said. "Xev!"

"Hi Stan," the little girl said timidly. "I uh...guess we have a problem, don't we?"

Meanwhile, Kai woke up on the floor of the galley. Of all the bad times that this could have happened to him, it had to be a time when he was yet again in unfriendly territory. His dizzy spells were becoming more frequent, and this was twice as far as passing out went. The kids were gone. As he painfully righted himself, he wiped the Lexx food off the side of his face, and shook his head to get his eyes to focus properly, because now the pain that came along with it was starting to last longer each time as well. All he could do to keep from letting the pain get to him at the moment was to find the children, no matter how irksome they were; preferably without Vlad's knife embedded in any of them.

. Thankfully, the Lexx had a good echo, and he could hear at least two different voices on the bridge laughing and playing.

He unsteadily made it to the bridge and saw the two girls sitting on Quet, who was zipped up in a clear, plastic sleeping bag. "Where are the twins?" he asked hoarsely, not at all very concerned that Quet was being beat up on.

"I don't know," said Gilly, in her misleading sweet voice. "They went off to explore. Said something about looking for a lady. We would have told you, but you were sleeping,"

"What lady?" said Kai.

"A lady with pointy hair and a long buckly kinda dress. They said they saw her in one of the passageways," said Stormy, twisting Quet's hair until his forehead turned pink. "They like to make up stories. They'll be okay...can't say lots about the ship's well-being, though,"

Something along the lines of "You have to be kidding me," passed throughKai's brain, along with several curse words that he hadn't remembered until that moment. He turned and headed back down the passageway, priming his brace. "I trust you will keep track of Quet and Gilly until I return, Stormy," he said. "Should you see such a lady, I urge you all to run and find me immediately,"

"Hey, wait!" said Gilly.

"Yes?" Kai asked, turning back out of the passageway.

"Were you having a bad dream?" she asked. "You were screaming really loud. So loud we had to leave the galley 'cause you wouldn't shut up,"

Kai looked at the child blankly, and then resumed his mission to keep a few "innocents" from being flayed alive. "Perhaps I was," he said.

As expected, Spaz had retreated to a corner of the cryochamber, crying and trembling, as Vlad had her knife raised at Len. He was laughing hysterically at her, not at all seeing the danger in the present situation, as he threw what seemed to be pieces of candy at her. He darted around the controls to the cryopods and the dream box, as Vlad pursued him around the room. She must have also been the victim of one of Len's paint bombs, since there was blue paint running down the front of her dress, and small spatters were visible on her pale face.

Kai grabbed her wrist before she could bury the knife in the child's neck, and twisted the weapon out of her clenched fingers. "I will be taking that," he said, tucking her knife into his belt. "I will return it to you when there is nothing for you to destroy,"

"Remove your hand from me before I remove your hand from the wrist, assassin!" said Vlad, trying to wrench herself free from his grip, practically foaming at the mouth. "I must slaughter it!"

"No matter how worthy he may be of your various torture methods, I cannot allow you to bestow them upon him," said Kai, releasing her a bit roughly in irritation (of course he was oblivious to the irritation, just like everything else).

She glared at him through her dark eye makeup, and then looked to the child. Len just grinned and kicked her in the back of the leg. She nearly fell from the pain, and said "You disgusting mortal imperfection on the epidermis of the universe! If I cannot lacerate you, I will strangle you!"

She suddenly lunged for the child's throat, but Kai fired his brace and caught her throat in its claws, as Len ducked behind a cryopod. "Vlad," Kai said firmly, as she clutched at the weapon as to avoid having her throat slit.

Vlad remained silent and still, even though she looked livid, knowing that he had caught her in a vulnerable position. "I will release you on the condition that you go to the galley, where you will _not_ injure the remaining nozzles. You will wait for Stanley there, or until I come for you," he said. "If you do not agree to those terms...I will find and kill you, Vlad,"

She shot him another stony glance at him, and finally begrudgingly nodded, and Kai retracted his brace. Vlad slowly backed away, not breaking her eye contact with him. She then turned to the corridor, and slowly disappeared down it saying, "I only respond to such an order because it is not my intention to die before I kill you, assassin,"

As Vlad's footsteps faded, Kai felt the slightest bit of satisfaction deep in the back his subconscious, knowing that the recovering nozzle was about to repay Vlad for her actions against it. Len gasped as Kai turned his attention to him. Kai simply stared coldly at him, and pushed his weapon back into place on his wrist, knowing what had to be done next.

"You bet we have a problem!" said Stan, pacing around the little girl. "How'd this happen to you!"

Xev could freak him out normally when she started acting more reptilian than human, but this was absolutely ridiculous. She was now a perfect imitation of herself, except she was tiny, fidgeting where she stood, and seemed to be enjoying the experience. "I dunno," she said. "Should I?"

"Uh, Xev...look at yourself," said Stan, shaking his head in his hand.

"Yeah, I know," she said. "You wouldn't...have any candy on you, would you?"

"No!" said Stan, kneeling down. "Look, Xev, focus. Think really hard, you have to know who did this to you!"

"I still want some candy," said Xev.

Stan stood up and threw up his hands in aggravation. Here he was, without Kai, and Xev was suddenly five years old, jonesing for sugar. He sighed, and took the squawker off his belt, grabbing Xev as she tried to skip off in the direction of a balloon vendor. "Kai?" he asked shortly, speaking into the squawker. "Are you there? Come in!"

His message had been intercepted, however Kai wasn't the person on the other end. "You are still alive. It disappoints me,"

Stan sighed, wondering how in the world she even got a squawker of her own, since she wasn't even technically part of the crew. "Vlad," said Stan. "Where did ya get the squawker from?"

"The assassin has stolen something from me, and in turn I have stolen something from him. I have found it on the floor of your galley. I have no intention of returning it until he has returned to me what he has taken," said Vlad.

"Okay, whatever," said Stan, shaking his head as Xev cluster-lizard rolled back and forth on the sidewalk, obviously delighted. "Vlad, I need ya to go get Kai _now_. I really need to talk to him,"

Stan could practically hear the indifferent facial expression in her voice. "I know...I should do as you ask. However...I have no intention of helping you. I am not your friend, and I am not your crewmember. Farewell,"

The dead air on the other end of the squawker pretty much signified that getting ahold of Kai anytime soon was out of the question. He clicked the machine off sharply, as he shouted, "Stupid Vlad took the stupid squawker! Now what are we supposed ta do!"

Xev stopped playing her imaginary little games and looked up at him. "We'll get through it, Stan!" she said.

Stan rolled his eyes. "Come on, let's go find that Melfus guy!" he said, grabbing Xev's hand, dragging her off in the direction of the city entrance.

"But I don't wanna!" said Xev. "I wanna go play some more!"

"Too bad!" said Stan. "I dunno what it was, but this can't stick!"

"No!" said Xev.

She dug her heel into the back of his leg, making him release his grip from her, and cluster-lizard rolled down the street in the opposite direction of where he intended to go. "Great," he said, rubbing the sore spot her foot had left. " Just perfect,"


	6. Generation Lexx Pt 4

Author's Note: Okay, it's been a while since I last posted, so here's the skinny. The planet is a kid paradise, and while Kai plays baby-sitter to a few devilish runaway inhabitants on the Lexx (plus there's still an unidentified box thing in the cryochamber), Vlad has done some escaping of her own. Meanwhile, Xev has been turned into a little girl and has run away from Stan. All caught up? Good luck.

As she piloted the moth down to the planet, Vlad pondered on her immense boredom. It was amazing how humans could be so bored and so infuriated at the same time. It hadn't been difficult for her to slip out of the galley, for the assassin had busied himself with disgusting imitation humans. He would pay dearly later, she promised herself. He had no right to take anything from her, let alone a weapon. She would repay him by taking something more precious; if not his life, then perhaps the life of his whore; Vlad didn't know, and she didn't much care. Right now, she simply was interested in finding entertainment, and entertainment was not on the great insect. She would have to find entertainment elsewhere, and that was logically on the planet.

She landed the moth, and saw that the atmosphere was not suitable for breathing. She knew she was crazy (and who wouldn't be with the images constantly flashing through her mind), but was sane enough to know that she would have to get creative if she wanted to get to the whore and the fool safely. Spotting a small opening in one of the facility towers, Vlad wasted no time in entering it with the moth, paying no mind to what potential threats were inside. Her first order of business was to find a weapon of any kind, of course.

Xev was long gone, and Stan had absolutely no clue as to where to look. He had a limp now, since her sudden growing down had her forgetting her strength (of all the things she could still do, it had to be beating him up). He mumbled to himself, trying not to completely lose his mind from all the chaos being dumped on him at one time. He wanted to just go back up to the Lexx and find Kai so he could deal with it, but as he weighed his options of either looking for Xev or babysitting the five toddlers of terror plus Vlad, his current mission seemed like a trip to Nimbus 9. "Why does stuff like this always happen!" he mumbled, paying no attention to the odd glances he was getting. "The Lexx isn't a daycare center for crying out loud!"

He suddenly jumped as an alarm spontaneously went off, practically belching out a warning, as a voice came over a city-wide loudspeaker. "WARNING, WARNING, WARNING. ALL EVELLE PERSONEL AND CITIZENS, THE LAB HAS BEEN BREACHED. REPEAT. THE LAB HAS BEEN BREACHED. PLEASE KEEP WATCH FOR ANYONE YOU ARE NOT FAMILIAR WITH,"

"Oh that's just great!" said Stan, running in no particular direction. "Kai, you so owe me!"

He wasn't watching where he was going, so he slammed head on into someone. "Ow!" he yelped, rubbing his nose. "Didn't ya hear the-"

He was looking at Melfus. "Yes, of course I heard the warning, considering that I am the one who issued it," he said. "You may as well come along with me. This concerns you, or rather that upstart of a crewmember you failed to supervise,"

Stan followed Melfus through the scrambling crowd, wondering why exactly the young man walked instead of ran. "Supervise, whaddya mean supervise?" said Stan. "It's not like I'm in control of her, Xev can do whatever she wants!"

"And that is precisely why she ran off regardless of your wishes," said Melfus. "You call yourself captain, yet you neglect any duty relating to your title,"

Stan was starting to get irritated with this kid talking about him like that to his face, and it didn't help that Melfus seemed like a younger version of Prince in terms of personality. "How did you know about her running away from me!" said Stan.

"There is little we don't know, Captain Tweedle," said Melfus, leading him down an alley that was surprisingly empty.

"Hey, this isn't the way to the shuttle deck!" said Stan.

"We're not going to the shuttle deck," said Melfus, opening a building door that led downstairs.

Stan stopped moving and looked at Melfus warily. "I don't know," he said. "I'm not going anywhere...not without Xev,"

Melfus turned around and fixed his cold eyes on Stan. "Look at you," said Melfus, his tone of voice completely changing. "Stop looking at me with that simpering face because it's nothing short of pathetic. You humans are all the same. You're all so weak and afraid to face danger when you sense it. Instead you stand there hoping that you're wrong, that you're not in danger, when in fact you are,"

Stan didn't have the time to question what was going on, because then he heard a child scream, and saw that there was a blue-haired woman standing in the doorway next to Melfus. In her arms was Xev, struggling to get away, crying her eyes out in her childish state as the woman clamped a hand over her mouth. "Hey, let her go!" said Stan. "She's not right, she doesn't have a chance this way!"

He gasped as both the woman's eyes and Melfus's turned over from their bright colors to inky black. Insect black. "We need young hosts, so we can grow, Captain Tweedle," said Melfus. "Even if you've already been an adult for some time, we don't care...we have to live...the humans must be destroyed,"

Stan turned to run but there was a boy blocking his way, with the same black insectoid eyes. "Where are you going, Captain Tweedle?" he asked. "Are you so afraid that you will leave your comrade? I can see being afraid of the others. But me? I'm only a child,"

"L-Look we'll uh...we'll give ya the kids on our ship!" said Stan, thinking quickly. "Just let us go!"

"Oh," said Melfus. "So you'd sacrifice the lives of innocents to preserve your own...you're going to make a poor host. Too bad we're hurting for them right now,"

Stan hadn't even had the time to react, because before he knew it, something sharp had penetrated his wrist and it became increasingly difficult to see or breathe.

The endless tunnels and pathways inside the tower were mildly amusing, but Vlad was having a difficult time. She knew exactly where she was going, and yet there were no living things around her. Just metal and walls, and stairs. As she continued down the stairs, she constantly glanced at her surrounds, somewhat entertained by the size of the place. Vlad continued on her way, until she heard voices. Smirking slightly, she pressed herself against the wall and moved into the shadows. "The intruder vessel entered the tower the weak spot on the western side," said an adolescent male voice. "The sensors only picked up on one human,"

"Only one?" said a second voice, this time that of a young girl. "Disappointing,"

"It will have to do," said the male. "Our bodies are decaying. Do you wish to die?"

"Why of course not," said the female. "However...our latest additions are proving to be difficult,"

Vlad couldn't believe her luck; a planet full of children and she had found ones that looked to be at their maximum age of twenty-one. They had several weapons; weapons that the former executioner wanted. She waited for them to come around the corner, and sprung out in front of them, striking the female in the face with the palm of her hand. She looked up, nursing her nose. Vlad was surprised to see that her eyes were inky black, but she didn't have the chance to look closer or get too excited because the male aimed what seemed like a gun at her. Vlad grabbed the barrel of the weapon and yanked it out of his hands, disposing of her with just a few simple strikes to the face with the butt of the weapon. She dropped the gun weapon, and then grabbed the female who was rushing at her, who was making high-pitched inhuman sounds, and unceremoniously snapped her neck. "How disappointing that you do not know those who serve you," said Vlad, circling around the male, who was bleeding on the floor.

He spat out blood and laughed, her black eyes showing no emotion. "We have no need of servants," he said. "But your shell will do. We'll be sure to make use of it,"

Vlad's nose crinkled in anger, and she stomped hard on his throat, pressing her boot into the windpipe. "I surrender nothing. If you will not accept my service, I shall kill you,"

"Go ahead," the male choked out. "Two deaths are insignificant to the hive,"

This only angered the former executioner more, so she did as she'd promised by squashing the insect's head with just her boot. She then wiped the black blood spatter off her face with her hand, and continued on without the weapons. Vlad detested any kind of guns; for they offered death too quickly.

Stan found himself in a dark room, staring up at two of the insect-eyed faces who had captured him. He couldn't move, and figured that was because of the table he was strapped to. Xev was nowhere to be seen, which he couldn't decide was good or bad. He struggled, and found that he couldn't get away, and wasn't exactly surprised. The girl laughed. "This isn't your first time being captured, is it?" she asked. "Really is a wonder you're still alive,"

Melfus held up his hand to silence her. "Don't celebrate yet, Fala," he said. "That little brat still got away. She bit you, didn't she?"

The female insect known as Fala looked sheepish as she looked down and covered a bloody mark on her right hand. "...Yes," she said, as she sidled up to the table. "But we have a new shell, don't we! It doesn't matter if mine is damaged, because-"

Melfus struck her across the face with the back of his fist. "Selfishness merits punishment!" he barked. "Allow others to have a chance, won't you? Your shell was damaged because of your own neglect to protect it,"

"Whoa, whoa!" said Stan, still struggling to move. "I like my shell to myself! Like you said, selfishness merits punishment. "

"Human opinions mean little to us, Captain Tweedle," said Melfus. "But that doesn't suggest that I'm not going to explain our situation to you...you deserve to understand what you're going to die for," said Melfus. "I'll try to put it into words you'll understand. Many young people once lived on this planet...and we insects had nowhere to go. We had lost the Insect War in the Light Zone, and our numbers were too few. We came here, hoping to accomplish what our leader planned to achieve. It was easy; so many innocent beings, so much curiosity. All they had to do was get close for us to transfer our essence to them. We made lots of nice hosts, but since no one ever grew up...we had to have some way to make more hosts. That's where you and all of the other visitors come in. Fala here came up with the machine and we built it. It's been so long since we've been able to transfer ourselves, but it's become second nature for us to act like human children, and guess what? You bought it!"

"So what about the kids on our ship!" said Stan. "They aren't-"

"No," Melfus said bitterly. "Stormy and her friends got away. We had no chance of finding them until now, so I suppose I should thank you! Now we can continue! Look at your crewmember now! Look how she's improved,"

"Improved!" said Stan. "She's off somewhere sucking her thumb, waiting for her next sugar binge! Wouldn't you rather have something more intelligent-"

Stan knew he wasn't getting out of this one unless luck stepped in, so he decided to pump them for information on the unlikely chance that Kai or Xev suddenly showed up. Xev wasn't the only one who hadn't learned things in Kai's absence, after all. "Yes, it may seem juvenile to beings such as yourself," said Melfus, circling the table. "However, sucking her thumb is better than sucking other things, wouldn't you agree? The more we reverse the ages of our shell, the lesser damage becomes. Our species is not what it once was we cannot heal our bodies the way your species can. We have to take care of our shells...and they age so quickly. That is why we must take what we can get, and what we can get is you. Even if you are most likely too old for the transformation,"

Melfus and Fala then reached up and pulled some kind of metal machine that was hanging from the ceiling over the table, so it was hanging over his midsection. He sighed and scrunched his eyes shut, knowing that either he was going to be face to face with Prince again, or suddenly craving candy bars.

Meanwhile, the colorful streets and childish atmosphere disgusted Vlad. Insects were beings above herself, and she served the true insects. These were pitiful imitations that hid behind the masks of youth while underhandedly dealing out death and stealing new bodies for themselves. Her master had been different. True, he also stole bodies, but he was one of the last great insects. He had power, where these child insects only had large numbers to fall back on. It was deplorable; she had already been attacked several times and she found that she needed no weapon. These insects were strong like her, but their bodies were so soft, she needed only her fist to dispatch them, whereas her master would have deprived her of protoblood and violence for years for even trying to attack him.

Vlad looked down as she felt something clinging to her leg, wrenched it up, and threw it like she had so many other victims, but this one rolled up in a ball and rolled back at her. It screeched, and she immediately knew what it was. She effortlessly stepped out of the way and grabbed her attacker by the back of the pressure suit. Holding the squirming creature in front of her face, she said bitterly, "I have no idea how you've gotten small, nor do I care. Leave me now and return to your assassin or I shall drop you and squash you as I have these other vermin,"

The miniature Xev started to bawl, the horrible sound causing Vlad much irritation. "Silence your childish behavior or I shall do it for you!" she said. "State your business or die!"

"I'm sorry!" Xev bawled. "Y-You have to save Stan! The monsters got him!"

"Why?" said Vlad. "I have no allegiance to you or that fool,"

"T-They took him away!" said Xev. "I-I'm sorry I ran away! I'll make it up to you!"

Vlad unceremoniously dropped the crying child and stalked off in the direction of the alleyways, completely uninterested, only to be confronted by a small boy. "Your skin is so pretty and flawless," he said, his black eyes flashing. "Even if you're not beautiful like the other girl, Fala will still like you,"

"Step aside," Vlad commanded.

The boy wouldn't move, which was probably a mistake. Vlad picked him up by the face and squashed him, his chunky black blood spattering her. Xev slowly edged up to the Executioner as she dropped the husk of a body. "H-He was the one who did this to me," she sobbed.

Vlad looked sternly at the child and then to the blood on her own hands. She thought about the situation, wanting nothing more than to rid herself of the whore at that very moment. Of course, if the whore did not return, the assassin would suspect her and then kill her. Vlad knew it was unfitting her of herself to do so, but she went against her will and knelt down in front of the child. She then forced the child's mouth open and rubbed the blood around the inside of her mouth. Xev immediately began to gag and Vlad shoved her onto the ground. She stood up and watched, knowing that what she had done would soon be understood.

It was revolting to watch, as the other woman twitched and jerked about on the ground like a severed limb. Even Vlad found it difficult to watch as bones grew and body parts matured, but soon Xev suddenly coughed a few times and stood up, restored. Once she regained her bearings, she let out an ear-shattering cluster lizard screech and lunged, but Vlad simply stepped out of the way. "When treated with the blood of an insect, a human body will react to the species of which the blood belongs. It was an unfortunate guess that you have been restored," said Vlad.

Xev got control of herself and swallowed hard to keep from throwing up. "H-How did you know?" she asked.

"I did not," said Vlad. "It was preferable that it would have killed you, however the cycles of time have their way of showing me things. Things I must respond to,"

She then continued down the maze of alleyways, leaving Xev with no choice but to follow her. "But Stan needs-"

"I have no obligation to any of you," Vlad interjected. "However, I am finding myself curious to learn more. I will allow you to follow me...but if this mewling continues, I shall find an insect worthy of destroying you if I do not do it myself. Come, the trail of fear is strong,"

Meanwhile, Fala hit a switch in the impossibly dark room, and Stan felt his body burning with the electricity being passed through it. Melfus was laughing at his screams. "Whatever you are holding in," he said. "Please, feel free to let it go. You will have no need of it anymore,"

He then smiled and pointed upward. "You see this needle?" he asked. "It's full of my blood, Captain Tweedle. It will reverse the aging process on your body, and will proceed to transform your mind. You'll be so innocent you won't have the capacity for fear! Just a few more minutes and your body's gonna be weak enough to accept it!"

"You people are really sick, you know that!" Stan whined. "You can have those kids, really! I'm no one's gonna min-"

The electricity suddenly stopped, but Stan kept whining, even when he heard a loud splattering sound. A cold fluid of some kind sprayed him, but he didn't want to open his eyes until he heard someone clicking their tongue. "You can open your eyes now, Stan,"

He cautiously opened one eye and looked around, and finally deemed it safe to finally look around. Melfus was caught in a headlock, and was struggling against Xev's grip, who was just smiling. Vlad, completely filthy with insect blood up to the middle of her upper arm, was standing on the other side of the room; one hand through Fala's chest and the other embedded on the controls for his table. Xev gave a hiss and then let go of Melfus long enough to knock him out with her elbow. "That's what you get for trying to take over my body!" she half-growled.

She looked up and smiled angelically, just making Stan feel worse about being saved by two women (more to the point, one woman and one homicidal maniac). "Get me offa here!" he whined.

Vlad relieved herself of the carcass and wrenched her hand, visibly injured from the punch, out of the machine. "No," she said firmly, walking toward the exit.

"Come on, Xev!" he said. "Help me out, will ya?"

Xev just smiled and neared the table. She leaned down and said in a low, sweet tone, "Y'know Stan, I would,"

She then took a firm hold on his throat, and snorted, "BUT YOU ALMOST SURRENDERED FIVE INNOCENT LIVES TO THAT SELF-ABSORBED NUTCASE!"

On their return to the Lexx, with the happy news that their guests wouldn't be staying (they had discussed that the children were free to get back on their ship and explore the universe again), Stan and Xev found four out of the five children sleeping out on the bridge. Len was missing, and Xev, noticing immediately, sped off in search of Kai, while Vlad distastefully slunk off into another part of the ship. Stan rolled his eyes and followed closely behind Xev. For someone who had just been having a tantrum because she wanted candy, she seemed to have already re-adapted to being an adult. A usually irresponsible adult, but an adult nonetheless.

Kai was in the cryochamber, working on the protein regenerator, re-attaching everything that was broken off, and digging out all foreign objects (which were beyond recognition) shoved in by the children. He ate as he worked, Lexx food as always. He seemed to have finally found a use for the dream box, since his lunch was perched on it, and so were various toys and food items he had extracted from the protein regenerator. Even though he looked positively exhausted, he seemed very content about something, or at least as content as Kai could look since his expression hardly changed.

"Hey, four outta five, not bad dead man!" said Stan. "So what happened, did Vlad sneak out when-"

"Uh Kai?" Xev interjected. "Where's the other twin?"

Kai swallowed the last of his meal, stuck the spoon in the bowel, and nodded slightly in the direction of the cryopods. If Stan didn't know better, it looked as if the assassin was avoiding Xev's eyes. Sure enough, Len was in a fourth cryopod (one difference between this new Lexx and the old one was that it was always growing more pods), frozen in place, his eyes and mouth wide open and hands stuck in the position for pounding on the glass. Stan couldn't help it and burst out laughing, amazed that maybe the dead did a have a sense of humor after all, but Xev's face curled into a frown. She couldn't decide whether she wanted to strangle Kai, or embrace him, since he was finally starting to show the tiniest bit of personality after so long. "How could you do that to a little boy!" said Xev. "He must have been terrified!"

"He is having a time out," said Kai, going off toward bridge. "I will...direct the children's vehicle out of the Lexx, and inform them of the special cargo. I will return shortly for this one. Do _not_ open the cryopod until I return,"

"But you might have traumatized him for the rest of his life!" said Xev. "Doesn't that bother you?"

"No," said Kai.

As the assassin headed toward the bridge, Stan stopped laughing as soon as Xev shot him a death glare and punched him hard in the shoulder. "I still have a planet to blow up," he sighed, and left Xev to herself.


	7. Dayn Pt 1

Sleeping was a human characteristic. They didn't do it simply because they desired to, but because they had no choice in the matter. It was necessary for them to function correctly, and in that, Vlad despised it. It left one weak and vulnerable to enemies, and to close one's eyes was a certain way to be damaged. She didn't sleep if she could help it, and only allowed herself fifteen minutes every few days to partake in such teduim, as it made her rage boil. These humans that she was trapped with seemed to do little else on the other hand. In fact, it was all the assassin seemed to do if he wasn't concealing his lust (or what Vlad considered lust) for the whore or desperately trying to hide that he was in fact, worthless. She couldn't understand why he tried to hide things; she was the Time Prophet, and nothing could be hidden from her.

She slunk around the edge of the entrance to Kai's room, and looked at him. He was on his side, engaging in the human activity of sleeping, utterly defenseless, and unknowing of her prescence. It disgusted her, as the dead should have no weaknesses and be empty, like she was. He had taken her knife from her when he had promised to return it to her. He had not, and she fully intended to get it back, and once she did, she was certain that Kai's time would come to an end before the prophecy had the opportunity to be fufilled again. She was positive that she would make sure of that; _she _had no reason to fear the insects, so the prophecy meant nothing to her.

The action was going to be the simplest mission that she had ever carried out, since the whore and the fool were as sound asleep as the assassin was. The assassin was truly worthless now, considering that trying to act human didn't disguise anything. He was still a mockery of life, and she sorely wished that it would finally eat away at him until it destroyed him, so she could kill him in his broken state; or better still, watch him take his own life. Grief and guilt were pitiful emotions that humans should have purged long ago, but they were also quite destructive, and Vlad knew that she only had to push them in the right direction to get the results she wanted. She felt that he wasn't really worthy to be killed at her hand, for allowing the captain fool to destroy her and rob her of what she had once been. Yes, watching him kill himself would be quite amusing, and she was eager to find out when and in what way.

Without a sound, she made her way around the bed, and quickly grabbed the knife, slipping it out of his belt before he could react. The disturbance had awakend him, and he immediately went to grab her wrist, but Vlad pulled the knife up, twirled it in a downward position, and avoided his brace by leaning to the right. She made a downward stab for him, but Kai shifted his weight on the bed, and caught her wrist.

He pulled her down onto the bed, and clamped one hand onto her mouth, as to not awaken the fool or the whore. He shifted himself so his body was pressing hers against the bed, and then proceeded to grab her knife and fling it safely onto the floor a good distance away from the bed. He pinned her flailing fist onto the bed as well with his free hand, and whispered sharply, "Why did you attack me when I was not expecting you?"

She decided that he deserved an answer for getting as far has he had; in the past he wouldn't have been able to even follow her movements. She stopped struggling so she could answer. "I am a destroyer of assassins," Vlad said flatly. "I will destroy you,"

"Regardless of what you were designed for, Vlad, attacking me while I was off-guard would not have provided you with the challenge you seek," said Kai.

"A challenge is not what I desire for the moment," said Vlad. "I desire your destruction!"

"If you are still displeased that I had disarmed you, you are welcome to have your weapon now, as there is nothing here for you to destroy," said Kai. "However, I urge you to never attack me in my sleep again...or I will kill you, Vlad,"

Vlad's nose crinkled as she glared defiantly up at him. "You threaten me with death so often, assassin," said Vlad, sneering at him. "And I find your threats to be idle,"

How pathetic, she thought. He was so immersed in interrogating her, he didn't see his mistake. She then thrust a knee into his abdomen, throwing him off her, and onto the floor, sprawled on his back. She rolled off the bed as well, and retrieved her knife. She stood up, and smirked at him. He was still on the floor, with a hand to the spot where she had struck him, and was short of breath, with his mouth full of blood. His expression was one of surprise; he hadn't been prepared for her to be his match in strength, and it was apparent to her that something had weakened him before she'd even struck him. It delighted her to no end. He fired his brace again, only for her to block it with her knife. Kai took a mental note; Vlad could no longer swat his brace away like she used to, but she still could apparantly follow it in order to block it.

She climbed up over the bed in three fluid steps, her skirt making her seem as if she was gliding. He stood again, ducking a horizontal slash from the knife, but Vlad had been expecting it. Her free hand made contact with the area she'd slammed with her knee earlier. Kai stumbled backward, grabbing one of the fleshy columns growing near his bed for support, as his other hand clutched the wound. Vlad licked her blade clean of the blood. He didn't know when it had happened, but she had cut him; just a shallow cut on the side of his neck. He reached up and touched the wound quickly, feeling the blood seep over his fingers, but then returned his attention to her.

"You have become fragille, assassin," she said, with a blank look on her face. "You will not kill me... and threats do not affect me. I will destroy you,"

Kai painfully straightened, still clutching the area just under his ribs. He let go of the column, and primed his brace. "Come on then," he said, trying to mask the pain in his voice.

He seemed to be sincere in his words, but Vlad thought better of it. If simple blows such as the ones she had just given him had injured him so, there was no pleasure in fighting him this way. He was obviously pushing himself to stand, as he was out of breath, and visibly in copius amounts of pain. He was not acting like an assassin, and it dissapointed her. He would in time, but not now. She could wait, she supposed. "I will not continue this now," said Vlad, lowering her weapon. "Heal yourself, and be alert later,"

She calmly walked up to one of the growths in the floor, put her boot up on it, and tucked the knife into the boot. Kai didn't move from where he was. If Vlad was going to attack him in his sleep, it was entirely possible that this was a ploy to kill him as well.

"Is this not what you want, Vlad?" he asked. "To challenge me? Here I am. What is stopping you?"

Vlad turned to leave, and stopped at the opening of the room. "I do wish to kill you, that is true," said Vlad. "...However, there is no pleasure in killing you in this worthless state. Squeak at me no more, little mouse,"

As the clicking of Vlad's boots faded, Kai felt the oddest bit of emotion that he could barely recognize. He admitted in his mind that she had a lot of nerve speaking to him the way she had, considering it was her who had attacked him, and in his bedroom no less. Had he attacked her and she had beaten him, he would have thought nothing of her words. However, the dead did not seek vengeance unless motivated to do so, which usually meant that the dead had been ordered to seek vengeance. He also had to take into consideration that there was a possibility that Vlad was clinically insane. Part of him was beginning to wonder if they should actually have her mind examined (by force, no doubt. She'd never go along with something like that), should they find a suitable medical facility. Of course, he wasn't looking forward to when he, Xev, and Stan would have to lure her out and catch her; the mention of the disaster spoke for itself.

He found himself considering what would happen if he were to go out into that passageway and show Vlad what a real killer was really like, but that would not be just. In fact, he didn't understand why he was having violent thoughts such as the one he'd just had. He'd been having them a lot lately, but he figured that it was simply because he still carried every bit of mental programming given to him by His Shadow, and with a human brain it was clashing with all of his human tendencies.

Killing was something that he simply didn't care to do anymore, even though he could hardly go a day without at least one murder, and things like Vlad's prescence made violent images appear in his head. Besides, Vlad was with them for a reason. She was the Time Prophet, and he couldn't deny that they would need her soon, since she was the only one with access to the prophecy. To kill her would be to make a mistake, and it was probably a mistake Prince would be looking for.

The pain from her attack on his torso burned and throbbed all at the same time, and he knew that she had nailed him in an area where the mysterious bruising was particularly tender. He sat down on the bed, facing the entrance just in case she decided to take him up on his offer after all, and unzipped the front of his shirt. He lifted up the thin black undershirt gingerly, as it caused him pain to really move at all, and saw that there was in fact a large bruise growing larger from Vlad's knee, right underneath his sternum. She had hit him hard enough the second time, to not only further damage the original wound, but a rib or two on his left side were in bad shape as well.

Before he could even think to try the protein regenerator, a thundering explosion rang throughout the Lexx, as the ship gave a great lurch, sending Kai tumbling off the bed, onto the floor, and against the wall.


	8. Dayn Pt 2

The Lexx had never had the best lighting system in either universe, but this was getting unreasonable. Kai found himself pressed against the wall in the passageway leading to the bridge, hoping that he hadn't taken a wrong turn in the thick darkness, and wouldn't suddenly plummet into one of the ship's many stomachs. Coming upon the end of the passageway, the only thing lighting the bridge was the viewscreen, with its slight glow from all of the stars reflecting through it. It gave everything on the bridge a ghostly blue glow, adding to the pure confusion and eeriness. "Lexx!" Stan called out urgently. "Hello, hello, Lexx ol' pal, c'mon wake up!"

Stan was already at his post, staring up at the screen. "Lexx!" Stan hissed angrily. "Wake up now or I'll...or I'll...I'll make sure you never eat again!"

"Your priorities mean nothing," said Vlad, almost invisible in the dark. "I cannot hear his mind. It is not destroyed, however it is quiet,"

"Well, yeah, be that as it may Vlad, but I really don't get what you're saying right now!" Stan said in irritation. "So just let me handle this, huh? Me and Lexx understand each other, don't we pal?"

"Your great insect understands nothing but its own stomach," said Vlad. "To think it is your friend is folly. I am the Time Prophet, and nothing can be hidden from me,"

Kai looked down and zipped his shirt back up again as Stan still received no answer from the ship. "I believe that we have collided with something larger than the Lexx," he said. "Causing trauma to the Lexx's front end,"

Kai took hold of one of the iron arms of the dais, and locked eyes with Vlad, who was holding onto the opposite side of the pedestal. She looked extremely disappointed, since the ship's sudden behavior hadn't thrown him off into a crevice somewhere (of course, in his human state, he couldn't help thinking the same about her). Xev came stumbling out onto the bridge, and fell to the ground before she made it to the command pedestal. Kai offered her a hand, and pulled her up. The sudden yank from his arm made her fall off the platform portion of the bridge, and against Kai's chest. She looked up and sheepishly looked away, letting go of his hand and taking hold on the pedestal. "Are you all right?" he asked.

"Fine," she said quietly. "You?"

"I am all right," he said.

"Are you sure? " Xev asked, gently turning his head. "You look banged up. Your neck's bleeding, too,"

He pulled away, wiping the blood off with the back of his hand. "It happened...when the Lexx came into contact with whateverhas hurt it," he said, letting go of her.

Even though Xev hadn't consciously detected it, she could still tell he was lying. Vlad, on the other hand, knew he was lying for sure, but wasn't about to give him the benefit of the doubt like Xev. She smirked at him knowingly, as if to say "I could tell her, assassin. And then all of your pathetic lies will become clear to her...and she will wash her hands of you like so many others," She would absolutely love to do that sort of thing as well, but surprisingly enough, she didn't say a word; a rarity for Vlad, since she always had something on her ill mind. Kai shot her a warning glance, which she only smirked at, and then returned her attention to the viewscreen.

Meanwhile, Stan was completely ignoring everyone as he tried to rouse his ship from its apparent coma. "Lexx!" he hissed sharply, barely visible in the pitch black. "Why is so dark in here all of a sudden?"

Still no answer, causing the captain to become more impatient. "Lexx!" said Stan, now on the verge of screaming. "This is your captain speaking to you! I order you to answer me immediately!"

Kai could barely make out Stanley bury his face in his hands and sigh, "Oh boy, here we go again,"

"He is unconscious," said Kai. "That could be the only reason for the Lexx's sudden anomaly,"

Xev came around to get a better look at the viewscreen. "I don't see any planets," she said.

"I can't see anything at all," said Stan.

"That is because you are worthless human mortals," said Vlad. "I accept the darkness, and it accepts me,"

Kai looked at Vlad warily, wondering what exactly she was getting at, since everything she said had a double meaning. "You can see?" he asked.

"Yes," said Vlad. "As I was designed to be able to hunt even the most elusive assassin, I have been given many superior functions to oppose yours, even in this feeble human body that I long to be free of,"

"What about you Kai?" said Xev. "Can you see anything?"

"I can see things better than most living beings perhaps, but I am still finding it difficult,"

"All right," Xev said brightly. "We'll all go to the cryochamber, get some flashlights for the half of the crew who can't see in the dark, and we'll go check things out around the Lexx. Kai, you're with me,"

Without staying to hear Stan's complaints, she grabbed Kai by the arm, and had him lead her toward the exit of the bridge. "Aw, c'mon Xev, we don't know if anything dangerous is in this ship! Don'tcha think we'd be better off in a group?"

"No," said Vlad. "The confines of staying together will not allow us to hunt, but to be the hunted. I will not suffer anything to hunt me,"

"See?" said Xev. "Let's go,"

Meanwhile, in a ship only a few yards away from the Lexx's front end completely reflecting the image of the stars onto itself. Its mirrored sides made it invisible to even the insects, and since it was too small to crash into, it had to give off the illusion that it was larger; and all the drugs in the universe were more capable of providing that illusion.

Inside, sat a second crew of four people, bathed in dim green light. They were watching their own viewscreen, quite pleased with what they had accomplished. A small, stocky man with gray hair sat on the far left of the room, laughing. "Nice narcotic, Syne," he said, nodding to a blonde woman in skimpy red leather. "But I have one question,"

"And what would that be, Psal?" the woman asked, her tone as venomous as her blood red eye makeup and lipstick.

"Do you ever plan to slip us any of that crap?" Psal asked. "I mean if that much can knock out something that huge, then what the hell does it do to a normal human being?

Syne smiled. "What do you think happens?" she asked. "The outcome is favorable,"

"For you," said a second man, his eyes covered with dark goggles. "But only for you, right Syne?"

Syne giggled, licking her lips as if fantasizing about it. "Dayn," she breathed. "You know me so well,"

"Hey!" said Psal. "Can we get to the briefing, here?"

"You're the one that started the conversation," Dayn said silkily. "But yes. Our objective is to recover the relic at any cost. Our only problem is that it changes form so often...it can be as large as the ship it's in, or it can be as small as a needle point,"

"No problem there," Syne said, stretching lazily, making sure to drive Psal crazy. "I'm good with needle points. Just look for the symbol, right?"

"Of course," said Dayn. "The exploratory crew is already onboard. They will take down most of the ship's crew, if anything,"

"How many are there?" said Psal, hitting the switch on a small, knife-like weapon.

Electricity sparked from its tip, causing Syne to roll her eyes. She stood up and huffily squeezed the tip, putting out the spark, "Hey!" Psal protested.

"Play nicely, children," Dayn said calmly. "If I understand correctly, the exploratory crew is already dead,"

"You can't be serious," said Syne, sucking her sore finger.

"Oh, I'm quite serious," said Dayn. "But that's why we have you for our dear little alchemist, isn't that right?"

Syne smiled again and pulled a small vile from inside her top. "Dayn, honey, you mean it?" she breathed.

He stood up and put his arm around her waist. "It's finally time for your anniversary present, my love," he said, before kissing her deeply on the mouth.

"So uh...how many are we talking about here?" said Psal, beginning to get uncomfortable with his comrades getting a little too affectionate.

Dayn tore himself away from Syne's mouth and looked at Psal in irritation. "Four; one of which that will be able to predict our actions if we aren't careful," he said. "Now let's go...I have to give Syne what she's been dying to have,"

She grinned and pulled away. "You've been so good to me today," she said, heading toward the right side of the room. "You've already let me play with our current cargo,"

She knelt down next to three people that were tied on the floor. She smiled at the two men and the woman, two of which looked as if they'd just overdosed on overly potent drugs. The third, just seemed irritated. "Oh c'mon, Syne, get away from there!" Psal whined. "You remember what happened the last time you ungagged that white-haired prick!"

"Yeah," she said indignantly. "He talked our pilot into committing suicide right on the spot...I wanna see it again, is that so wrong?"

"For most people, yes," said Psal. "But for you-"

Dayn placed a firm hand on Psal's shoulder and squeezed. "We're bringing the cargo with us anyway, so let her play a little if she wants,"

She smiled over her shoulder at Dayn. "Thanks, babe," she said casually.

"Don't thank me yet," said Dayn. "We're bringing the cargo with us, so have the secondary team load them onto the shuttle,"

Syne thought about it a bit and then stood up. She then keyed in a message sequence on the control panel at the front of the chamber, and came back to Dayn's side. "Whatever," she said. "For the Prince of Fire, he's way too cold for my taste anyway. And his friends scream too easy,"

"That's my girl," said Dayn. "Now let's go,"

He then exited through a hatch in the back of the room, causing Psal and Syne to follow suit. Syne grinned. "Psal," she said. "Maybe I'll share my present with you, if you're good,"

A/N: Sorry it was so short! But oh well, I write things as they come, I guess.


End file.
